It's February!

Staying busy as usual. I've had to excuse myself from a few projects, Lagniappe Film and Music Festival being one of them. Unfortunately, I just do not have as much time nor energy to do all the things I love BUT if you are interested in your film being submitted into the festival, email me and I will show you the way. This is what I have been up to lately besides getting biopsy after biopsy (my poor vagina) and chasing around the cutest toddler in the world, with a hectic work schedule behind the bar.

1. It's officially Women in Horror Month! I have some enlightening articles coming your way through my column for Geek Juice. I will also be making a few appearances on podcasts. As for my own, I have to step away from having my own podcast. There's too much work and energy that goes into these things. I'm perfectly happy with co-hosting or being a guest on your podcast, depending on the subject matter and scheduling.

2. Malevolent Magazine has a lovely spread of me wearing that fan favorite VHS corset/dress. There's an interview attached. Thanks again for featuring me!

3. Still making room for all my VHS!

4. Cat5 Magazine featured me as the bartender, yet again. The article is accessible on the web.

5. Struggling interminably to isolate my personal life from my public persona. It bothers me that my family members feel the need to stalk my online presence because I do not take the time to open up about my extracurricular activities and why should I? I don't do what I do so that I could be told that I am rebellious. I love horror movies. I am obsessed with nostalgia. I think the female form is beautiful. I shouldn't have to keep feeling like I have to explain myself when my religious family tells me that "Bartending in a seedy strip club is unGodly." It bothers me that I still have a hard time opening up about my feelings. Though, it seems so easy for me to write it out. I keep myself pretty secluded and remain a hermit the majority of the time and I like it that way. For my birthday, I had such an amazing time and it was a great escape. I love to socialize but the amount of time I enjoy public outings has become minimal. Maybe it's due to the fact that I have been bartending for so long, I'd rather enjoy a sunset with good food, great company, or a movie. I don't like going to bars and it's rare that I actually have a weekend off so why would I want to spend it at a night club? My hormones have also effected me more than I care to share. I feel like Stan Marsh in the South Park episode where everything is shit. Maybe I really have become a cynical ass hole. Everything and everyone around me is annoying. I find myself caring less and less about the colorful characters that I serve. On my good days, I love what I do. I'm also 29 so my thoughts and life choices are all over the place. One thing is for sure, I have amazing friends and an amazing man-friend.

Last but not least, this after work photo of us cleaning the bar is the perfect example of how I feel about my job.

The Quarter-Life Crisis is the New Mid-Life Crisis

The quarter-life crisis has finally hit me. The need to figure out what I want to do with my life has caused me tremendous stress and grief. The need to have a normal, boring life has as well. I was about to get married. I quit bartending. I would have been perfectly fine playing the role of the house wife. However, that did not work out in my favor. My ex-fiance and I have come to an understanding and we both still care for one another. We know there is no resolving our issues with one another and there's no way we will ever get back together. We did create something beautiful together and that's reason enough to remain respectful and stay friends.

I didn't give myself enough time to move on after I picked up the pieces and started a new life. I am still bartending and I am currently working on my own film on top of my writing gig. The kids seem to be responding well to the changes but I still worry if this change will effect them. I immediately jumped into another relationship. I know, what's wrong with me, right? I have never been so quick to jump into a relationship. I have never been the girl with 'feelings' who enjoys cuddling and holding hands. I don't do those things. This took all of you by surprise but I do not expect you to understand. This was different. I never felt so connected to another human being in my entire life. I cannot even put my feelings into words without mumbling. In a way, I felt as if God or whoever the big man/woman upstairs may be was tapping me on the shoulder and telling me, "Hey. This is who you are suppose to be with." Sounds crazy and totally unlike me, right? It's completely out of character but I thought he felt the same. Maybe he did. Maybe he didn't. As it turns out, I am not who he was looking for. After blaming myself for 48 hours and feeling like a complete dumbbell for letting someone in so quickly, I have come to the conclusion that I need to stop blaming myself and the world for my problems. There are things that we have no control over.

Recently, my medical problems have become a severe problem. I've had a variety of problems since I was little girl and I spent most of my adult life as a sickling. I just got use to it and often brushed these problems off because I figured it wasn't anything bad like cancer for instance. As it turns out, there's an abnormal growth of cells in the lining of my uterus and if I do not take care of it now it could spread. Next Thursday I will know more. I'm hoping that it really isn't Endometrial Cancer and I won't have to get a hysterectomy. This often occurs during menopause so I am just PRAYING that this is treatable and I will still be able to have children. On top of this, I am still having panic attacks and I cannot seem to follow my doctor's orders by taking my medicine and eating 8 times a day for my blood sugar issues. My panic attacks are likely due to this change in my life and the fear of losing control. I just do not know what I want anymore. Most days, I love bartending. Bartending is part of my character. It's who I am. People come in to take my picture and photograph the drinks I make. They write articles about my role as a bartender. All my friends and customers remind me that I am good at my job and they will be devastated if I quit. That doesn't change the fact that I am tired and I want to spend more time at home with my children. The late hours and drama that comes along with the job are unraveling the last threads of my sanity and I do not know how much more I can take. I don't want drama. I don't need excitement. I just want a normal life with the occasional fun. Last night, I came home to an empty house. The kids were away for the weekend. I was still wired from work. No man waiting for me. Just me and a quiet house. Words cannot explain how much I absolutely HATED this and I don't know how so many of you seem to be fine with this.

I don't know how often I can keep traveling to do some of these things that I have been doing for so long. That trip to New York took a lot out of me. Maybe it was just some serious jet lag or my recent medical problems but I just couldn't have as much fun as I wanted to. It meant the world to me that my friends took me out to eat and showed me a good time but by Saturday night I was just wiped out. Honestly, I feel sorry for John. Torrani is one of my favorite people in the world who knows me better than anybody and because he lives in New York, we only see each other a handful of times each year. We could have been having a blast but I just wanted to sleep. It has come to my attention that a delusional, online personality has taken the time to babble on about his own ideas of what happened to me that weekend. Yes, the same man who has been obsessing over the Soska's. I'm not going to humor him or show him attention that he does not deserve. Let me just get this out of the way, I was sick and tired. I was not staying at a hotel. I spent the weekend being surrounded by close, personal friends (NOT JUST FACEBOOK FRIENDS) and they did show me a good time but by Saturday night I just wanted to go to curl up and sleep. We watched Tuff Turf for the millionth time and I went to bed. I wanted to go out and party one last time. It totally sucks that I just didn't have it in me. Thursday and Friday were a blast and good enough for me. I got to see fucking Judas Priest LIVE in Brooklyn with one of my best friends among other things. That's what I call a good time. I cannot really take anything this individual says seriously because he seems to think he has existed in my world for 3 years when he and I didn't even begin exchanging words until a little over a year ago. He's clearly mixed up.

Another problem I face is the ability to let go of the past. I replay everything that happened last week and the week before that and the year before that and the decade before that in my mind. Issues that I tried so hard to repress tug at my heart strings like a fucking sitar. While I try to put the puzzle pieces together, I've had a great deal of stress from two PSYCHOS online. This is starting to get old and no matter how long I ignore the problem, they're still there trying to drag me into their imaginary sand box. Not going to happen.

Southeast Texas is my home. I may travel and explore wonderful opportunities but this is where I plan to grow old. Speaking of opportunities, Cat5 Magazine is writing about me yet again and they're writing about the strip club environment for the very first time. This is a great opportunity for the club and I am grateful that they want to feature me. They will be sending in a professional photographer to take pictures of me making some of my favorite cocktails. I will scan the article for everyone to see when it's published. I am also officially becoming a comic book character. For years, I have wanted to be a comic book character but there's only so much free time I have. This is a paid gig and I cannot wait to see how I look in comic book form. THEN we have WiHM in February. This year, I am an official sponsor of the organization. I have faith that Hannah will put the funds to good use. As for Texas events, I am open for ideas. We have a few of our own but it also depends on my health and schedule. I'm still behind on several articles as well so keep checking back with my column on Geek Juice.

Thank you to all my friends and readers for the support you have given me. Sorry if there are typos or sentences out of place. I'm too tired to proof this.

Being Rebekah Herzberg Is Mostly Awesome

When November rolls around I like to list everything I am thankful for over the span of 10 months. I already made a few 'thankful' posts earlier and I am too busy to cover everything that has happened so if I leave any events or friends out, my bad dudes. On to the list of things I have been involved with, thankful for, etc etc etc....

The rough draft for the Hanukkillah script has been finished. More updates on that soon. Work keeps me pretty busy and this move into the new house has been draining. BUT I still find time to let photographers take pretty pictures of me. Some of these are behind the scenes and some are finishing touches by Darryl James.

This back drop is REAL! Downtown PA

We found a bar in the old hotel & I'm a bartender so ya...

Notice the coffee cup

I went to New York for Comicon, Judas Priest, and a few other events. Got to spend time with my bestie Torrani, Ted, and the lovely wife Bev. Also, got to spend more time with the Soskas. I planned on writing about my entire experience but I had serious jet lag and now much of the excitement has faded. I am getting old.

Journalists, I highly recommend getting the 4-Day Pro pass

Like I said before, work keeps me busy and around this time of the year I get a lot of requests to be a guest on local radio shows or to be interviewed in magazines to discuss Halloween-themed cocktails. The Beaumont Enterprise wrote two different articles that featured me this year where I talked about proper bar etiquette in one and the other article focused on "The Booziest Spots in Beaumont." The club Temptations, where I currently bartend, made it to #11. The old pub also made it to the list with the photo they took of me for the magazine Cat5 last Halloween. FNTX had me on their show a few months ago where I was asked to bring in a couple of my favorite dancers from the club and we discussed "The Real Ladies of the Night." They asked me to come back on the show where I made some Halloween-themed cocktails while we were live on the air. One of these is MY OWN RECIPE that's Underworld inspired, "The Corvinus Gene."

I love my co-workers. We are all so handsome. I still have to brag about how awesome my job is.

I was a Ghostbuster for Halloween

I still have my VHS column for Geek Juice and I love my boys! We have created a new theme show, Sex Ed With Geek Juice. The first show had several listeners on the GJ website. We did a short addition with The Cinema Snob's Brad Jones joining us.

Looking back at how awesome this year has been, it makes me realize just how privileged I am and all the cool shit I get to do. I get to interview and hang out with filmmakers and artists that I looked up to when I was a kid and continue to look up to. I have more than one amazing job. I have amazing friends. Amazing co-workers. An amazing boyfriend and above all things, AMAZING CHILDREN! I still cannot believe I actually made it to TV as well. Now that I think about it, it's no wonder I get attacked online by strange females that I never heard of. Jealousy makes people do crazy things and I forgive you all. Stay tuned for more updates AND I will see you all in Austin, November 16th for the VHS swap meet! Glad I got these built in shelves for my clams.

How NOT to Run a Convention: Learn From the Epic Con Disaster

Before I start I feel I must clarify the reasoning behind my interest with Epic Con since it's nowhere near Texas and I was not involved with the con in anyway. I'm not here to point at laugh at the promoter's failures. The reason why I am wasting 20 minutes typing my reaction up on my personal blog is simple. Not only am I disgusted by the promoter's behavior online, I feel I should point out how NOT to run your convention and I would like to stick up for my supporters who were mistreated by the con. I am not a convention 'expert' by any means but I have been attending cons for years, appeared as a guest at cons, hosted cons, and I have actually put together conventions in the past. It is a very stressful experience. This is why you need a team. Epic Con didn't seem to have a team or much of a staff for that matter.

So here's a list I compiled of things NOT to do when you are running a convention:

1. Do not breach over 30 contracts then turn around and claim the guests 'canceled' for reasons other than your deceitfulness. You are obligated to pay for their air fare and hotel rooms. This is the most important thing on the list.

2. Marketing and presentation are also very important. The organizers failed to promote properly.

3. Do NOT promise elegant dining then give the VIP's cold cuts in a setting that looks nothing like what was promised.

4. Do not take donations from the vendors to pay for the guest's' VIP cold cuts. The vendors are already broke from wasting all their money on the hotel rooms, plane tickets, and small vendor space you have provided. This is completely unprofessional.

5. Do not complain on Facebook that your daughter had to spend $1, 000 on the sandwiches and cry about how the people are unappreciative. I'm sorry your daughter is out $1, 000 (If that is even true) but what about all the money that the guests and vendors lost from your shitty convention? You do not seem to care about them.

6. It's imperative that you not only make a sincere and mature public response but you also need to contact these individuals directly by phone or email. Instead, these people were denied answers to their questions and the public received an immature rant filled with lies and blame had been placed on everyone else. YOU are responsible. To place blame on others for your failure is insulting.

7. Do not respond "Hmmmm" and "LOLOLOL" to the questions. It makes you look like an illiterate buffoon. For the love of God, come up with a better response and do not add 'per say' to the end of your sentences. When people threaten you with a lawsuit you do not respond with, "LOL, okay hmmmmm." Mark Patton just did an interview for a local news station where he expressed that he is in fact taking them to court. Who is laughing now?

8. When people ask where the money from all the ticket sales went, answer them. That money had to go somewhere. If it couldn't pay for sandwiches then God only knows….

9. The organizers claimed that the proceeds were being donated to a foundation. Curious individuals were not convinced so they called the foundation and they claimed they had no idea the convention was using their name. This is a heartless act and you should be ashamed.

10. The amazing Tom Sullivan asked the organizer's husband who goes by the name 'Kev Diabolique'  why they didn't pay for the guest's air fare. Kev never responded to Tom. He proceeded to argue and name call with another individual. I guess he was embarrassed.

11. Attendees, vendors, guests, and people who had helped out with the convention came forward to complain that Sheri Yarbrough was insulting and low class. Always remain respectful and courteous no matter how stressed you may be. Take a look at Loyd Cryer, that is one cool mother fucker and he has to deal with a lot of bullshit when putting Texas Frightmare Weekend together. This man always goes out of his way to make sure everyone is pleased and has what they need. He also manages to put together a great staff. Epic Con didn't have any staff members with t-shirts or security guards, which was promised.

12. When 'Kev' was making an ass of himself on the Facebook page, a woman kindly asked him to respond to her email where she requested a refund for her booth and the man wouldn't even respond to her comment or her emails. I don't even need to explain to you how wrong this is.

13. Do not pretend to be a fan of the convention and post a positive review on the con's Facebook page when you are one of the promoters. Low class. You totally got busted there Kev.

14. The vendors shouldn't have to set up their tables.

15. It's unfair to delete the comments on the promotional page where some of the celebrity guests rightfully expressed their concerns and the treatment they received. Even Barbie Wilde's comments were deleted. Allow the public to say their peace.

16. If your health is declining, you can always reschedule the event and apologize.

17. Learn the difference between libel and slander.

18. Do not use your 'health' problems as an excuse for your failures. People make mistakes but illness or no, it's never okay to promise things you cannot deliver without any warning or apology.

19. Ignoring the problem will not make it go away. It makes you an ass hole and no one will work with you again.

20. If you are unable to financially handle a convention, it's not appropriate to buy autographs.

21. Oh my God, you cannot just ask people why they are white.