|Photo by the amazing John Torrani|
Something was off about this 10th anniversary. It's not that I didn't have fun.... Believe me when I say I did BUT for a 10th reunion, it felt as if something was missing. It could have been that our main crew was not present. It's almost as if the original TFW crew is no longer interested and now there's this entire new breed of groups that are drunker than we ever were and unkempt. There was a moment when Jovanka and I realized we are either getting old or we have learned the necessary behavior when it comes to promoting ourselves and our product. Attendees were already wasted early Thursday when the convention hadn't even started - Not that I am judging. People were coming to Jovanka's booth early Saturday morning and they were already drunk. A TFW staff member was fired by Elvira because a belligerent drunk told her assistant that he was man handling him when he attempted to go out of a door that was forbidden. The behavior I witnessed this year opened my eyes and brought back past memories with Roxy and I doing our thing. What the hell were we thinking? How did we feel this was appropriate behavior? When you are a business woman in the horror industry who takes her work seriously, you do not run around throwing tampons at people or randomly slapping people in the ass. I cringe now when I look at pictures and feel embarrassed by my behavior. We were party girls without a care in the world.
Maybe it's a culmination of everything my body went through last year and attending far too many of these conventions over the years that has me on my best behavior. I'm tired. I'm bored. Everyone is annoying to me. This year, I got food poisoning and a painful sinus infection. I was in my bed all day Saturday until the evening approached. Thank you for all the lovely comments on my VIP gown. I couldn't have done it without John. The poor guy was checking on me every hour. He even held an ice bucket for me to vomit in. Had he not taken care of me and helped to settle my stomach, I wouldn't have had the opportunity to rock that dress and spend time with my friends. That's all I wanted to do this year. This was the first year where I was not hosting TFW, not a part of the staff, not moderating panels, not doing interviews, not sitting at a booth promoting my work, etc... The only thing I cared about was hanging out with my friends and spending time with fellow writers that have been attending for years and years. People who just started going or that have only been a couple of times have no idea how strong the TFW bond is and how broken that bond felt when only half of us showed.
|You can tell from my subtle expression that I am really not feeling good|
|My fellow red-headed horror Rebekah!|
The VIP party with Rebekah McKendry, Spooky Dan, Torrani, and Jovanka felt like a prom setting. Honestly, the VIP party is not all it's cracked up to be. I'm sad I missed out on the karaoke and I just have to take the time to express how much I adore Rebekah McKendry. She's a wonderful mother, beautiful on the inside and out, incredibly warm and kind, and talented young lady. I look forward to future projects with the Fango/Gore Zone team. If only I had the time to listen to their Killer POV podcast....
Later that evening I returned to bed and I was in so much pain, I wanted to put my head through a wall. The right side of my face was throbbing and it felt like I had been stabbed in the stomach multiple times. What's worse is that everyone smoking downstairs were SOOOOOO loud. They were all up till 6am. Oh yea, the section where the regular attendees smoke was right below our room. I could hear many detailed conversations. There was a moment where I stepped out into the balcony to get some fresh air and everyone began screaming, "Herzberg!" I was on the 3rd floor. That's how close I was. Nope, totally getting back in bed!
The best part of my weekend was without a doubt all the time I spent with Torrani, Jovanka, Heather Buckley, and Spooky Dan. We all went to a shooting range where we had zombie targets. I loved every second of it. Then we went to a family steak house where everyone was staring at us for being so weird looking and obnoxiously loud about our views on patriotism and many other obscene things. It was fabulous. Buckley also writes for Gore Zone and Fangoria. Jovanka was a writer for Rue Morgue and I always admired her writing style. She's involved with many projects that you should all keep up to date on and if you claim to be a horror fan but never heard of Spooky Dan Walker then something is wrong with you.
|I always make Torrani drive my car|
I inevitably had to delete a friend from Facebook who in return got offended. This is silly. Facebook is just a social networking site. If you're really friends then you can call or text that person. Why doesn't anyone do this anymore? This woman caused a scene last year because she felt like I ignored her all weekend and showed someone else more attention. That was not the case. This year I went out of my way to contact the person, via text all weekend, to let her know where I will be and what was going on. She didn't even care that I was sick nor did she bother to ask if I was okay.I cannot be worried about petty things like this. Life goes on. Also, saying horrible things about Fangoria/Gore Zone is completely unbecoming and shows just what kind of person you are. Not to mention, unprofessional. I just had to get that out, sorry.
I enjoyed the Kim Coates panel but his autograph was the only autograph I cared about. I had already met the majority of the guests at previous conventions and I am trying not to become one of those autograph hoarders. Face it, it's a little sad. I enjoyed meeting the creator of this tasty vodka by a local man and it looks like I will be partnering up with their product for this Halloween!
It was nice catching up with Aj Bowen again. The last time I hung out with him was in Austin for Fantastic fest where I had amusing footage of him getting pounded from behind. I cherish that video. Spooky Dan and I rocked horror trivia. That was another favorite part of my weekend.
Moving on, I quit bartending at the strip club several months ago because that job was killing me and turning me into something I hate. Now I am bartending closer to home in a less stressful environment. My health has gotten better but I still have a few set backs. The hormone shots are helping, thank God. For a while there, I felt like a crazy person. Recently, both of my parents were in the hospital and our family dog died. I felt depressed and didn't know how to reach out to anyone. I lost my passion for writting and slacked off with my VHS column for Geek Juice. I began ignoring my friends. Trust me, I am trying real hard to snap out of this but I am fine and I am sorry if I alarmed anyone. Sometimes, it's best to fight your demons alone. I'll get back to that happy place sooner or later and I do not expect any of you to understand just how I am feeling. In the meantime, I am still making pretty pictures!
That's all I can think of to add at the moment. Hopefully, I can get out of this strange funk and get some articles published on Geek Juice. Love you all! OH! I did finally get the kids to Schlitterbahn again! Cannot wait to see how those pictures turned out.