Gratitude and Complaints

Life gets in the way of my personal blog and my column for Geek Juice. I work too much! Now that I have a night off, I can catch everyone up to speed and show gratitude where it's due. Due to my hectic work schedule, my son going through the terrible two's, and getting a new school year in order, I just haven't had the time for anything. I still have articles for print magazines that are nowhere near finished and we still haven't finished the Hanukkillah script. Slowly but surely, we will get there. I recently had an interview with the late B-Movie actor Rick Dean's mother. I am so content with how well this interview went. Parts of it will be placed in my Stripteaser/Naked Obsession article for Geek Juice and the other part will be in the piece I write for Hannah's magazine.

While I do have some complaints and issues that I would like to address, let me get all the special thanks out of the way. My new photos from my latest shoots have been viewed 1, 995 times within a week of posting the photos. Your Facebook comments are kind and thoughtful. The photographer telling me I'm elegant like a swan made me feel younger. I guess you can never really take the ballerina out of the girl.

My hometown has been remarkable and I am so proud of our community for turning it into a better place to live. Apparently, it use to be one of the most dangerous cities to live in. It's no secret that I absolutely loathe the surrounding hickish towns. I'm not a fan of nature and I like going to the mall which is why you will NEVER see me living in some backwoods town, no offense to my friends who do. I do not like country music, cowboy hats, and anything to do with redneckism. Do I sound like a spoiled, high and mighty woman? My apologies. As I explained in a previous post, I do believe I have become a strong figure for Beaumont. Over the years I have been involved with the arts, cleaning up our town, charity events, and theater. These are things I have done for this town.

*Part of the Beaumont Community Players.

*Public Speaker and Panelist for Lamar University regarding misogyny and the ideas of women exploiting themselves in film. This was an amazing panel!

*For two years I have been a film and music festival organizer in town, along with being a judge for the contests.

*Organized charity events for our local women and children's shelters and at the moment we are trying to put funds together to open an improved and more homely women and children's shelter since the ones we have now are completely unsuitable.

*Spoke on behalf of the noise ordinance to the city council and we won.

*I have been featured in articles for miscellaneous Beaumont papers to talk about the issues and traumas of internet stalking. Cat5 even wrote an article about my bartending and Halloween-themed cocktails that I concocted.

I try to stay involved with the arts and these charity events as much as possible which most of you know if you have been following me for years. The Lone Star art show in Houston was a crazy event where we expressed sexuality and the beauty of pregnancy along with some other questionable topics. Then there's the film festivals and competitions I stay involved with. One of my nude maternity photos was featured at a feminist gala that raised a lot of money for suffering women and children. I was recently interviewed on Snapped on Oxygen due to an article I wrote about a case. My cocktails were featured in the Have a Heart Cookbook that donated all of its funds to the Get Safe Project and at the moment I am working on another art project that focuses on the homeless in Southeast Texas along with battered women and runaways. I'd also like to focus on the transgender. This is what I love doing. People know and respect me for all of these things. I do not have any room for cat fights, jealousy, or worrying what people are saying about me on the internet.

Sure it hurts when people tell you what pulls up in google searches but what can I do about it? I don't plan on responding or attempting to make it disappear. I know the average idiot knows not to believe everything they read. However, I find it profoundly disturbing when I see that people are using my name to post "LOL" on the guest book for a friend who passed. I even saw someone was using my name on an online Jerry Springer post. Then there's the ridiculous "video" an internet troll made of me calling me an internet stalker when I didn't even have a computer for a year. The video has been removed from all sites but one. I do not have the time to search for all of them and report them as bullying or abuse. Funny how all these things seem to happen when I'm at work then I don't find out about them until long after. I adore everyone who stands up for me. Even those who do not know me and thank you all so much for being supportive and helping me to promote these events! I promise to keep up with my column, magazine articles, and podcast as much as possible. I do not do these things to make myself look good. I do these things because it's what I love!

Our podcast has gotten a lot of listeners. Thank you all for listening to our little show! Last week, director Bryan Coyne co-hosted with me and we had a fun trio contest with a prize that lucky Joe Flynn won. I am going to try and keep up with this podcast as much as possible but keep in mind that it wont be as often due to my hectic schedule.

I would also like to thank everyone who comes to see me at work, nominates me for best bartender, compliments the cocktails I make, and puts me on their bartender websites. I love you all! I've been a bartender off and on for 10 years now and though there are times when I feel I just cannot do it anymore, I instantly change my mind. I have such a strong passion for my work. I am very precise and creative with my drinks. Bartending is an art that doesn't receive the recognition that it deserves. People look at us like we are rockstars. I see us as mixologists, comforting, and crafty. I will never apologize for my job. For me, it's better than being a school teacher or a doctor. There are so many out there like me that do not believe they are high and mighty and admit there is still so much to learn about the world of bartending. The movie "Hey Bartender" made me feel so happy to see others like me. I HAVE to go to this Tales of the Cocktail event in New Orleans. I was asked to make a blog post with photos of my favorite drinks to make. I will as soon as I have another day off! In the meantime, everyone needs to watch THIS trailer!

Hey Bartender - Official Theatrical Trailer (2013) Movie [HD]

Rebekah Herzberg Interviewed on Snapped: Killer Couples - The Walter/Gregory Story

The motives behind Snapped culling me in to discuss this blood-curdling case extracts from an article I wrote about the grisly murder. Oxygen contacted me and they informed me that they were engrossed with the notion of composing a documentary that spotlights one of the most horrific homicides in Beaumont, Texas. It’s hard to fathom their crew skimming through my scant but essential article with aspirations to attain more information. That being said, there is insufficient public information accessible regarding this crime.

My main concern with this case was to help awareness and hopefully spark an interest in the public eye to help our fellow citizens to OPEN their eyes realize that this is a real problem. The city of Beaumont hears the word ‘stripper’ and they turn their heads. This city doesn’t care when erotic dancers go missing and this city barely blinks when these girls are brutally murdered which is odd to me since this is a music town with several night clubs and bars. Thankfully, Jennifer Walters and Christopher Gregory did not get away with this crime. However, Christopher got off lightly. He strangles the mother of his son in the next room.  He decapitates the mother of his son and cuts off one of her arms while their son is tucked away with zero recognition that he will never see his mother again. What a cruel lesson for this little boy to learn from his father. I unsuccessfully tried to find their son for comment on the pain he suffers from losing his mother at such a young age. I continue to keep him in my thoughts.

Jennifer Walter's Confession:
Lets get to Jennifer Walter’s confession that she gave to the police. I will scan my copies later. For now, I am going to point out the most meticulous excerpts from her eerie confession. “My name is Jennifer Walter, I am 22 years of age, my date of birth is 03-01-1977, and I presently reside at 3155 French Rd. #107, Beaumont, Texas. 

I have been living together with Christopher Gregory at the French Road Apartments since October 1999. Before that we lived together for a while at his mother’s house (Dena Gregory) in Nederland. I have been employed at Team Mates since April or May of 1999. I actually met Chris from Team Mates. He has been employed there about two years. I know that Chris and Kristy Robbins were once engaged to be married together, and actually had a child together named Chris Gregory Jr. who is 21 months old now. Kristy has custody of the child, but Chris gets to visit him on Tuesdays and Thursdays and each Saturday, but every Saturday he gets to keep him overnight. I have never personally met Kristy, nor does she know that I am in the picture with Chris, I know that Kristy was still in love with Chris for she wanted that big happy family. She often called our house and just wanted to come over and spend the night with him. She was just wanting to have sex with him.

On Saturday, October 30, 1999, Kristy kept calling our house late at night. On my caller ID at home (409-924-7734) I swear I saw three times on the caller ID of Kristy calling. (Note: Records show Christopher Gregory called Kristy first and in return Kristy called more than three times) Kristy called and wanted to come by and see him, so he told her she could. Chris gae me a bath towel (white with blue stripes) to wrap around her throat and kill her. Chris turned out all the lights in the apartment. I was standing just behind the corner from the front door and quickly wrapped the towel around her head area as she walked in. I did not have the strength to choke her. (Jennifer Walter notes in the confession on a later date that she never said that and asked why she would say that.) Chris instantly grabbed the towel and took her to the floor (Kristy being face down) and choked her until she was dead. When she hit the floor her nose may have broke and I guess that is where the blood came from because I did see some blood on the floor after Chris picked her up. As Chris was choking her I attempted to put my hand over her mouth to keep her from hollering out loud. She was able to holler, “What are you doing?” When I had my lefthand over her mouth she bit me on the top knuckle of my ring finger. I still have a scab there and I am willing to let you photograph it. She also bit me on my right leg." Below is a slide show of crime scene photos, police footage, and press.

Jennifer continues, "After she was dead, Chris just left her there on the floor and decided to drive to Wal-Mart  in his vehicle and buy an entire set of knives, Resolve, Lysol, Febreeze, and garbage bags. He already had some duct tape in the apartment. Chris told me to stay there and watch after Chris Jr. while he slept to make sure he did not wake up and find his mother like that. I want you to know I was freaking out and smoking heavily. I was also eating a lot of pills (Xanax) that I have as a prescription from Dr. Sprott II in Beaumont. I have been treated for severe anxiety and depression. 

Chris Jr. stayed sleeping the entire time. Chris returned from Wal-Mart and showed me that he had bought a set of knives. I disposed of the entire set that he had bought in a dumpster at the Days Inn Motel in Beaumont off Interstate 10; It was probably at 8a.m. Before I forget to remember, Chris and I crushed some Somas and mixed it with water. We then got a syringe he had (Chris took steroids) and Chris injected it into her right arm. Chris then carried her into the bathtub with the intentions of cutting her to pieces to bring her out to the car. After he cut her head off and her right arm off he said it was too much trouble. We then bagged her up in the big trash liners he had bought. 

Chris loaded the body in the rear of Kristy’s Explorer that I had backed up to the curb line in front of our door. I carried out the head in the other bag and set it in the rear of her Explorer with the rest of her body. We took the baby car seat out of Chris’s Toyota Camry and placed it in my vehicle. We both took a shower together either just after cutting her up or after loading her body. I got into my car and drove to the Texaco at Delaware and Eastex Freeway and I purchased with cash ($1.15 - Woah, gas was cheap then) and filled a Hawaiin Punch bottle with gas. I returned to the apartments. Chris loaded up the baby and followed me in my car as I drove Kristy’s Explorer to a location underneath the Neches River bridge (Now known as the Purple Heart Bridge) on Interstate 10. Chris began dowsing her body and the entire inside of this vehicle with gasoline. To ignite the fire I had saved a little of the gas and placed it in a Pine Sol bottle and stuffed a rag or paper towel in the opening, lit it and threw it into the rear of the Explorer and it began burning. When we got home I really don’t have much recollection because I was so messed up and pilled up. I cannot remember cleaning up. 

Chris told me if he was ever caught he would never admit to the murder. Some of the lies he was going to tell was that he and Kristy were having an affair. It was also Chris’s idea to cover the blood stain with Cranberry juice and pouring Lysol on the stain. I have been scared shitless since this happened. I have thought about taking my own life. This is going to hurt my family very much. I hate the thought of completely losing my kids. Chris really hated Kristy’s parents very much and wished this had happened to them instead.”

Jennifer Walter’s Reflects on the Murder:
That was Jennifer’s confession. Here’s a note I received regarding her feelings on this confession, “This is pretty accurate but it’s not written as I told it! It hardly even sounds like me! He changed shit around! It sounds like a robot in some places! Some shit I never even said! I was like what! I didn’t even remember reading this or signing it!”

Jennifer has seen a copy of Christopher Gregory’s pen-pal paragraphs, it makes her laugh while she is still sick to her stomach. She makes note that all he could do was carry on with his lies and complain that it was his 22 birthday and he ‘ended up with something in his body.’ Gregory told the police that Walters and a male figure drugged him on his birthday and killed Jennifer while he was asleep. Phone records and the testimonials given by Kristy Robbin’s friends and family paint a different picture. Evidence and witnesses show that Gregory cannot keep the story straight and his lies are obvious. His birthday was October 29th. One night before he murdered the mother of his child. However, Jennifer also contradicts her own stories. In her letters she says she didn’t kill nor touch Kristy Robbins yet in her confession she says she was the first to attempt strangulation and she offered to show marks on her hands and leg from Kristy biting her mid-strangulation. She also says she only knew Chris 3 1/2 months when he killed her.

Christopher Gregory's Pen-Pal Bio:
"I was on top of the world enjoying life, then got knocked down flat on my back. It was my 22nd birthday, something ended up in my body that I was not aware of. I eventually fell asleep and had a horrible dream. When my mother woke me up with a phone call, I realized that the previous night was no dream. I had been part of someone's death.... Upon my arrival in prison, my mind had been made up -- I will change. My devotion was to rehabilitation programs and anything to help me change and grow up.  Now I am destined to prove myself as a productive member of society.  Got a vision. Hope. Just waiting for the door to open. Looking for some friends who would like to be part of my trip to the promised land. Culture, race, color ethnicity does not matter. No discrimination! Ladies, how about some conversational companionship. Significance. A friend. Motivation. Someone to learn, value, and praise your personality. Recount your strengths and be sensitive to your weaknesses. Someone just to talk to.  I'm here and waiting. Let's go!"

Jennifer Walter’s life was far from perfect. She was far from ready for motherhood so she gave her children away to family members. Soon after she fell in love with Xanax and Crown Royal. Every day, Jennifer consumed these products with the hopes of falling asleep and never waking up - suicide. She so desperately wanted to die. Chris came into her life like a knight in shining armor, with hopes to get rid of Kristy. He even began planning her murder months before the events. A girlfriend of Jennifer’s was approached by Chris one night with a request to beat Kristy up in exchange for an 8-ball of cocaine. Jennifer took 10 Xanax, smoked Marijuana, and downed a bottle of Crown before her confession. As I stated on the show, there’s no way you can remember the events that transpire after that amount of drugs in your system.

Unfortunately, Jason Hughes was taken out of the episode. Jason grew up with Jennifer and shed some light on her character; "I've known Jennifer since the first grade. She was always a blast to hang out with. She was funny, and harmlessly wild in a fun way, as we most were. She, her cousin and I hung out a lot throughout elementary through Jr. High. In Jr. High, she would walk around school, sucking ketchup straight from the small lunch packages. When she moved, we went our separate ways. When I heard of the murder, I was shocked to hear that she had been involved. She was a very sweet, unique, charismatic person that I never would've thought could have committed such a heinous or brutal crime. I personally think she was brainwashed by love and controlled by his obsessive behavior. I was shocked and in disbelief when I found out that it was her who had done such a thing."

Christopher Gregory and Jennifer Walter remain behind bars but one day they will be released as they did not receive a life sentence which is completely shocking. Rest in peace Kristy Robbins.


More Photos From Flour Ballerina Shoot

Photography by Dakota Courville. There are some really cool shots here! Yes some are supposed to be awkward and I didn't shave for a reason. The second is my favorite. 

New Photoshoot

Going to add more. At work for now. Photography by Dakota Courville.

New Shoot and UPDATES!

It has become quite the challenge to open each introduction on my personal blog with something new and fresh. I get bored with, "Oh, hello there!" And there's always, "Wut it do, bitches!" Tonight I am sticking with, "You say goodbye, I say HELLO! Hello, Hello!"

That awkward introduction is over, lets fly into the world of FABULOUS! First and foremost, you need to save this date! July 13th, 2014.... Next Sunday! You will be able to see me on the Oxygen Channel interviewed as an expert journalist for Snapped: Killer Couples. My friend and partner on many projects of the past, Jason Hughes, will also be on the show. Save the date! It airs directly after True Blood! So that's double pleasure for you :)

Speaking of pleasure, soon you can see my article focusing on women who portray strippers in erotic thrillers and horror films that will be featured in Hannah Neurotica's feminist magazine Ax Wound! There are a few websites that cover their favorite strippers in film but they leave out those hat are rarely praised like Maria Ford who has portrayed an exotic dancer in many films since the 80's. Never has another woman been able to perform as a talented dancer who bares all while balancing her fine acting skills at the same time.

Moving on! You came here to see some behind the scenes and unedited photos of my latest shoot, no? I will happily post those but FIRST I must include some fun photos that photographer Dakota Courville (Human's of Southeast Texas) took of me, Grace, Kristen, Daniel, and Donny during the Pride Rally in my home town.

Moving on, here are some behind-the-scenes and unedited photos from my photoshoot with Dakota Courville today. I've always wanted to do one of these nude ballet shoots with flour and/or baby powder. Note: These are not the finishing touches. These are just a few to keep you intrigued :)

Getting the Group Back Together

I received many emails regarding my last post and I decided, we need to get the women's group back together. I am so sorry I have not had time for it lately. Between working, parenting, working out, and trying to make this movie, I stay pretty busy. But I don't see why we cannot plan around my hectic schedule and make this work. Even if it's just once a month. If you have any interests in joining please find me on Facebook or email me:

We are already setting the wheels in motion for some wonderful things this own desperately needs. For starters, we would like to open a more comforting shelter for women and children. The conditions and atmosphere in most of these shelters that I have worked with or even stayed in while my daughter and I were hiding from my husband were intolerable. We would like to make a more homely place fully equipped with a kitchen. That was Jenn's idea when I put together the charity event at the Log-On in February. Jenn also says they are putting the funding together for another great idea. She mentioned that some of the lawyers and their clients could use someone like me to talk the victims through their case. I did not have this when I was trying to get my divorce. This is a great idea and I hope they are successful with the funding and we can get started soon.

As for the group, before we merely had meetings every so often at my home, the theater, and resauraunts. Here is a list of things below that give you an idea of what we cover:

-Domestic violence

-Teenage runaways



-Abortions (The clinics here have no counseling for some reason)

-Custody battles

Those are just a few things. We are always open to more ideas. I don't think I will be bringing the blog back because I just do not have the time. I barely have enough time for my column, articles for magazines, and this blog. An additional blog is just not something I care to monitor but you always can! Knock yourself out. The last meeting we had covered custody battles and standing up for your hobbies and beliefs. In custody battles, both parents try to dig up dirt on their partner by stalking their facebook and blogs. They try to use whatever they can to make the other seem like a horrible parent when these things have NOTHING to do with parenting. Modeling does not make you a bad parent. One of my best friends recently went through a custody battle. She had to delete her gorgeous modeling photos because her ex wanted to use them against her. WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH PARENTING? I refused to delete mine because there was nothing wrong with my photos. Some of them have been shown at charity events and feminists galleries. Another girl was grilled on the stand for being an open bisexual. These are things we should fight against. If you're going to live life, LIVE! Being a parent doesn't mean you have to put all your hopes and dreams on hold until you are 50. There's room for both. Time for your kids and time for YOU! If anyone has a problem with you taking time for yourself then they're obviously fighting insecurities and jealousy. I need to write about this and how stupid arguments like this effect your child further.

Beaumont's First Pride Rally, Feminism, and Domestic Violence

For years I have had a loud voice in the Beaumont community with an overwhelming amount of support and I am so grateful for that support. Whether it's staying involved with the theater, film festivals, or the women and children shelters and charities.... I do my part. I never thought I would live long enough to see a Gay Pride Parade in my home town with hundreds attending. Though we had a great turnout with several loving families marching, there are still empty souls raining on our parade IN THE NAME OF JESUS! Some struggle to keep their judgmental tongue in place. Shockingly, some of these naysayers have a few skeletons in their own closet yet they feel the need to beat us with their Jesus stick. If you're going to make our love life your business then I will not hesitate to out you for your own struggles and addictions. Also, one of the most ridiculous comments I read on the KFDM page argues and I quote, "Looked like a lot of clowns showed up for this to walk but thousands showed up for Juneteenth." Because we all know the word of God and showing pride is a competition! You know, in the name of Jesus! I urge you all to stop and take a look around at what's going on in our community and work together to get through these revolutionary times. Whether you like it or not; Homophobia, racism, and domestic violence are severe problems in our community. More people need to get involved with the shelters. Make new friends. Get out and socialize with the LGBTQ! Educate yourselves and not to sound like a hippie but literring is another problem we have here. It's embarrassing when I have friends come in town to make their films while the freeways and parking lots are filled with trash and dirty diapers! Have you no pride in the way our town presents itself to tourists?

I could humor you and tell you that today's males and females are not up to my standards when it comes to what society has deemed the appropriate way of life. Instead, let us be objective and unbiased. People are people and our traits have been duplicating since the inauguration of life. What tangles my vag cork is when people feel they are entitled to tell others how they should live their lives, raise their children, and behave philosophically. Every day I become more and more a feminist because of people like this. It all started with my ex-husband. I vowed to NEVER let a man tell me what to do ever again. I look at marriage as equality. Neither partner should tell each other who they can or cannot hang out with and both should have the opportunity to work. I feel sorry for so many women out there that bow down to their partner after they get married. Say good bye to your career along with your hopes and dreams! Marriage means you have no right to a career path? If you want to give up everything you worked hard for and be a stay at home mom or dad then go for it. Just never let a man or a woman tell you that you have to give up everything you love. As for your social life, it's unhealthy to remain a hermit with your kids 24/7. Even parents need a break and that doesn't make you a bad person. You could go out together. You could also have a girls night out with your male partner having a night out with the boys but to some, especially hardcore Christians, this is a big no no.

I know there are some people in town that do not take me seriously. They see me as that smart mouthed, pro-choice, Jewish bartender at a strip club that sometimes poses nude in photos. I am also a columnist that writes about sex and rare horror movies. At the moment I am working on an article covering erotic dancers for a popular feminist magazine and another article that focuses on 70's art house porn for a a company that I dreamed of writing for since I was a little girl. I have been corrupted by sex and violence and shouldn't be around children! If this is what you really think of me then you obviously do not know a thing about me. Why should I be judged based on my employment of choice? I am educated. I have two degrees. Photographers pay to take these photos of me and they have been featured in magazines and feminist galleries. (See talented photographer Richard Tallent's photo of me that also turned out beautiful here) My nude maternity photos created quite the stir but the feminist gala received a lot of praise and donations due to that 'shocking and disgusting' photo. The majority of the naysayers were sexist troglodytes. SHOCKING!

Speaking of disgusting and sexist, have any of you ever heard of Red Pill? It's an online organization created by men that was created solely for men to bitch about their hatred towards other females. This organization doesn't strive for achievements and they do not seem to have any open communication with any female organizations where the two can confront their concerns. NOPE! This group has nothing to do with civil rights or equality. They act as if feminists are fighting to put themselves up on a pedestal. The origins of Women's Rights focused on things that men had control over like the right to vote, equal pay, the opportunity to any job they want, and the right to not be sexually harassed. What's the origin of Men's Rights? This is a genuine question and if any of you can properly give me a detailed explanation on the issue then I am all ears. As for men asking why there are no shelter's for them….. How are feminists at fault? It was women who worked their ass off to build these shelters for the abused and children. We still continue to build these shelters. Men have every right to build a shelter if they really do fear for their lives but it's not often that this is an issue. If you look into this site and their mission statement, they come off as racists and homophobic.

I could rant away over these issues for hours but I will not waste any more of your time. If any of you are suffering through domestic violence and feel you have no light at the end of the tunnel you can always find me on Facebook or email me here: Be safe, be kind, and make friends! Stop turning against each other. Below are more fabulous photos I took at the Pride 2014 event.