5th Anniversary

Looking back, I cringed at a few of my rants on here. Maybe it was my hormones during my pregnancy. Who knows. Many posts have now been deleted and I am currently looking for someone to make me a new banner. I really don't see anything wrong with my header but it's not how I want others to perceive me. There's more to me than meets the eye. Initially, I started this blog to fight against women who suffer through abuse. It has become an array of shit storms. If you have a problem with the changes or you never cared for my blog in the first place, this is all I have to say about that...

If You're Against Feminism...

Feminists are not angry. I am not angry. We are passionate.

If you're against feminism, something is terribly wrong with you. Feminists are not hairy, sexually repressed man haters. Denying that women still need equal rights and opportunities makes you a complete moron and self-righteous ass clown.

I don’t need feminism...

If you're a woman and you feel this way then you must be living a privileged life. Not all women could be so lucky.  You're also forgetting that feminism helped you attain that privileged life.

Feminism accomplishes nothing. It's just an excuse for women to bitch.

First wave feminism gave American women the right to vote. Second wave feminism made it possible for women to get jobs and say no to their husbands raping them. There was also birth control. Domestic abuse was an issue that desperately needed to be handled and rape crisis and battered women's shelters were invented - Something I am very familiar with. Third wave feminism gave us reproductive rights. Rebecca Walker focused on the abhorrence of stereotypes and gender violence. The Violence Against Women Act of 1994 anyone? Sexual harassment in the work place is still an ongoing issue but it was one of the main goals in this wave.

We don't need WiHM (Women in Horror Month). It's just an organization designed for attention whores.

I'm guessing you haven't heard of Gloria Steinem, Robin Morgan, and Jane Fonda's nonprofit Women's Media Center. Their objective is to ensure women are powerfully and visibly represented in the media.  How WiHM is any different, you will have a hard time convincing me and if you have no idea who Gloria Steinem is then you're not as educated as you thought. Then again, I cannot speak for everyone's agenda regarding WiHM. I wouldn't be surprised if some use it for personal gain but isn't that what we are trying to accomplish? By helping more women realize that they too can make horror movies?

I have the dick so I make the rules.

This is a gross example used by many men. These tacky t-shirts are still being made. How I became a feminist is largely a result of the way my ex-husband treated me. He owned this shirt and wore it in public. I was mortified and any woman that supports this kind of behavior obviously has no self-respect. 

We get hand-me-downs of ideas of what we are supposed to be.

Be who you want to be. Plain and simple. I am not going to go into an entire religious or 1950's house wife rant. You know exactly what I mean and you know exactly who you are.

Evangelists are douche canoes.

James Fowler, Jerry Falwell, and Pat Roberts all fall into this category. While most heavy duty Christian male's are misogynists, these three are the worst. Case in point, "The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians." Wait, practice witchcraft? Where the hell does this fit in and what information does he have to back this up?

A fine metaphor to explain how stupid cat calling is:

Stranger: Oooh, yeah, girl. I think I will have some of that Dr. Pepper. Pass it on over this way.
Woman: Uh, no? It’s mine.
Stranger: Yeah, but I saw you drinking it.
Woman: Yes… Because it’s mine?
Stranger:  You drank it right in front of me. We both know what that means.
Woman: I don’t know or care who you are. I bought this for me, because I like it.
Stranger: Wha… bu-but I… you made it look good. You made me think about drinking Dr. Pepper.
Woman: [side eye, walk away]
Stranger: Fine! You fucking pop-tease! Dr. Pepper is a shitty ass soda ANYway have fun getting DIABETES goddamn fucking BLARGHABNAJHEUFISDXOIUZERAHJDKBF

Cat calling is one of the more annoying displays of the neanderthal's backward agenda. Tumblr is awesome.

Not all men 

Yes, not all men. Nuisance of a retort.  Say a woman is complaining about male acts that upset or annoy her. "I hate it when men scratch their balls in public." There's always that one schnook who will stand up and say, "I don't do that. Don't lump me in with that category." Mazel fucking Tov! She obviously isn't talking about you then. She isn't talking about ALL men. Why you feel the need to defend yourself on a vent that has nothing to do with you is anyone's guess. 

Stop calling women crazy.

People in general are crazy. Enough of the 'Women are crazy because we don't understand them' posts. Unless that person is certified papers crazy then shut up! Even then, mental illnesses are no joke. I have family members and close friends who struggle with issues. I mean, if you have a psycho hose beast like Alex Forrest in your life then by all means GET A RESTRAINING ORDER! Trust me, I've been there. When it comes to overly emotional women, that's just another form of control. Telling her that she's overreacting and has no right to feel the way she feels is insensitive. How many times have you heard the response "He/she got crazy" when you ask about a recent breakup? Oh really, Einstein? Are you sure that's all? Again, unless your ex is Alex Forrest or Ike Turner then this is bias.

You use your body as art and that makes you a bad parent and a whore.

These days you have to be cautious of what you're posting on the internet, especially face book. Can you digest this arbitration to purloin someone's child derived on inculpable status updates and pictures? Custody battles are about the best interests of the child. Instead it's, "HEY! LETS LOOK AT HER FACE BOOK TO SEE IF ANYTHING CAN SUGGEST SHE IS A UNFIT PARENT!" They can use virtually anything against you no matter how innocent it may be. It doesn't matter how good of a parent you really are. All that attorney cares about is winning for his/her client and all that egotistical client cares about is damaging their child for their own selfish needs and using the other parent's face book against them to fulfill those needs. There's nothing wrong with embracing your inner and outer beauty but in unfair custody battle world, it means you're a bad parent! That's right, you feeling good about yourself and sharing your fabulousness only means you are damaging to your child and corrupting them sexually. This makes complete sense. You're probably a whore. (A few model friends dealt with this so I had to stand up for them. It's bullshit I tell you!)

“The song ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’ doesn’t mean that girls just want to fuck. It just means that girls want to have the same damn experience that any man could have.” 
 - Cyndi Lauper about feminism in her song ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’. 

Songs From Horror Movies That Are SO Fetch

While I have written about the best soundtracks in horror for a few publications, I have never compiled a list of catchy songs from horror films that are worth mentioning. These songs stay with you long after the film has ended. If I left a song off the list that you feel is worth mentioning, comment below!

Haute Tension:
Sara Perche Ti Amo - Ricchi e Poveri

This catchy Italian song plays towards the beginning of the film when the two girls are driving. I wish there were an English version of this song for me to belt out. I totally saw the twist ending coming. 

Song: I Never Dreamed Someone Like You Could Want Someone Like Me - Katie Irving

Officially one of my favorite novels and films of all time. Stephen King and Brian De Palma are masters of their craft. The score provided by Pino Donaggio rests on my shelf proudly but this dreamy tune that's playing during the slow dance sequence isn't. If you scroll down, you can see a GIF to the right from the scene. I remember watching the film for the hundredth time before I was off to Israel. I was at a Holocaust museum with my mom when I began singing this song. One of the tour members asked what I was singing. My mother was terrified and embarrassed when I gave her my answer. 

Song: Tip Toe Through the Tulips - Tiny Tim

Ever so creepy! Fun fact, my brother and I indulge in juke box trolling wars with all the local bars. We have the app where you don't even have to be in the building for it to play. We play this all the time to fuck with the bartenders. That and Hava Negila. 

Song: We've Only Just Begun - The Carpenters

Song: The Order of Death - Public Image Ltd

(American Psycho)
Song: Hip to Be Square - Huey Lewis and the News

To be fair, this entire soundtrack is catchy with several #1 80's hits. It was hard for me to settle on one song.  Chopping into Jared Leto with an ax took the running.

Song: Flash of the Blade - Iron Maiden

One of my favorite horror movie soundtracks. People like to argue that the song's out of place but I strongly disagree. Plus, it's Iron FUCKING Maiden!

(The Hunger)
Song: Bela Lugosi's Dead - Bauhaus

Trio in E Flat almost made the cut. 

(Donnie Darko)
Song: Head Over Heels - Tears For Fears

Some of these are so hard to choose from! Joy Division, INXS, The Church, Echo and the Bunnymen, and Gary Jules' version of Mad World. Director Richard Kelly has great taste in movies. I wanted to feature a song from his 2009 film The Box but I couldn't find the scenes on You Tube.

(The Guest)
Song: Anthonio - Berlin

Another soundtrack favorite! It's the perfect mixture of electronica, post goth dark wave.

(Once Bitten)
Song: Hands Off - Maria Vidal

Ridiculously catchy and cheesy. "I'm not wearing a costume!"

Song: Time is on My Side - The Rolling Stones

Incredible opening scene with carefully selected music to fit the mood. This set the tone for the film and did I mention how much I loathe Denzel Washington?

(The Lost Boys)
Song: Cry Little Sister - Gerard McMann

We use to ride around town blasting this soundtrack. Several great tracks included in this film.

Song: Whisper to a Scream - SoHo

The first film had the best soundtrack, hands down. This catchy little number played during the credits. You were expecting Red Right Hand, weren't you?

(Scream 2)
Song: I Think I Love You - Cover by Less Than Jake

My initial pick was Lucky Day in Hell by The Eels. I Think I Love you was serenaded by Sydney's boyfriend in the cafeteria and this magical cover plays during the credits following some dopey 90s ballad.

(Silence of the Lambs)
Song: Goodbye Horses - Q Lazzarus

Song: Christmas - Rockin Ricky Rialto

This opening always puts a smile on my face. Yes, Do You Hear What I hear should be on here too.

(The Stand)
Song: Don't Fear the Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult

(The House of the Devil)
Song: One Thing Leads to Another - The Fixx

(Cat People)
Song: Putting Out the Fire - David Bowie

(The Crow)
Song: Dead Souls - Covered by Nine Inch Nails

Because, duh.

(Tuff Turf)
Song: Love Hates - Marianne Faithful

Tuff Turf isn't really a horror film. It's one of those punk thrillers with so much violence, you almost consider them to be a horror film. However, this is tame if you consider Class of 84. The film features The Jim Carroll Band whom I lerv to pieces.

(Class of 84)
Song: I am the Future - Alice Cooper

(Nightmare on Elm Street 4: Dream Master)
Song: Pride and Joy - Joe Lamont

This number is playing on the juke box at the Crave Inn. This sequel is a guilty pleasure of mine. Roll your eyes all you want, it's fucking awesome. Additional catchy songs that I lerv; The opening theme Running From This Nightmare by the film's star Tuesday Knight, Anything Anything by Dramarama, and I Want Your Hands on Me by Sinead O'Connor which is playing during my favorite kill - Debbie turned into a roach. I have the action figure of that.

My Feminist Side of Horror Panel in Austin Overview

I'd like to thank the MENSA board for asking me to lead a horror-themed panel. Naturally, I chose to speak about feminism and horror. This was a nerve-inducing event for me because it's far from leading a panel at a horror convention. These are all guests of a higher intelligence that go through complicated testing in order to join. Though I felt I was out of my depth, I had a room full of eager attendees who remained interactive and I couldn't be happier with the welcoming outcome. The certificate I received warmed my heart and I never felt so connected with fellow lovers of cinema.

My power point presentation may have been bare but here's the break down:

I opened with a breakdown of female characters, starting with our final girls; Jamie Lee Curtis, Adrienne King, Heather Langenkamp, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Marilyn Burns, Olivia Hussey, Jessica Harper, and Kristen Connelly. Then I moved onto the sexualized victims, a trope that features women as evil and conniving. These women are portrayed as using their sexuality to manipulate men, making it seem as if her strongest power is her sexual power where the men are then allowed to objectify these women.

Case in point:

  • Natasha Henstridge - Species
  • Megan Fox - Jennifer's Body
  • Salma Hayek - From Dusk till Dawn
  • Aaliyah - Queen of the Damned
  • Amanda Donohoe - Lair of the White Worm. 
Moving on the traumatized victim, often times we get a heroine who seeks revenge for her tormentors. In many cases, she lets the hatred consume her and she becomes far more horrifying than her attacker.

Rape-Revenge Sub-Genre Stars:

  • Camille Keaton - I Spit on Your Grave
  • Katherine Isabelle - American Mary
  • Zoe Lund - Ms. 45
  • Christina Lindbergt - Thriller: A Cruel Picture
  • Karen Austin - The Ladies Club
  • Linda Blair - Savage Streets
  • Claire Wren - Steel and Lace
  • Uma Thurman - Kill Bill
  • Leslie Lee - Axe

The Promiscuous Friend: The final girl has that one friend who is often killed following or mid-coitus:
  • Pj Soles - Halloween
  • Amanda Wyess - Nightmare on Elm Street
  • Rose McGowan - Scream
  • Marta Kober - Friday the 13th 2
  • Deborah Voorhees - Friday the 13th: New Beginning

Please send me your list of unimaginable female characters but keep in mind, it's okay to hate certain characters.

*Awaits a parade of GFY male presence*

I kept my vagina dentata discussion brief because as mentioned above, this was not your basic horror convention so I opted to avoid offensive material as much as possible while getting my point across.

If you keep up with my Geek Juice column then you know that this is a deeply personal subject matter for me.

 Here's a brief list of strong female black characters, we really do need to see more:

  • Pam Grier - Blackula
  • Lisa Bonet - Angel Heart
  • Alexa Woods - Predator
  • Naomie Harris - 28 Days Later
  • Jada Pinkett Smith - Demon Knight
  • Anything starring Monique Dupree

  • Dee Wallace
  • Jill Larson
  • Lin Shaye
  • Barbara Crampton
  • Patricia Quinn
  • Linnea Quigley
  • Meg Foster

As most of you know, this industry is lacking when it comes to credible female directors. However, there are many names that have slipped through the cracks and they're making a come back. I've been screaming a few of these names for years:

  • Doris Wishman
  • Katt Shea
  • Jen and Sylvia Soska
  • Jennifer Lynch
  • Jennifer Kent
  • Mary Harron
  • Kathryn Bigelow
  • Amy Holden Jones
  • Antonio Bird
  • Kei Fujiwara
  • Jovanka Vuckovic
  • Lizzy Borden
  • Deborah Brock
  • Holly Dale
  • Roberta Findlay
  • Jackie Kong
  • Mary Lambert
  • Shannon Lark
  • Barbara Peeters
  • Rachel Talalay

We were running out of time but I was able to fit in a few questions from the audience and I do have a video of the event lying around that I can pick through in case you guys want a closer look. Thanks again to the organization for having me and I was so happy to converse with an intellectual bunch.

Why I Love It Follows

With conglomerate reviews and interpretations, mostly positive, my readers wanted to know why I fell hard for David Robert Mitchell's It Follows. In my opinion, it's a modern masterpiece that deserves to be dissected by a non-jaded viewer. This is a dish best served on my personal blog instead of my column or one of the publications. Here's a list of 10 reasons why I vote success.

Art by Tob Waylan

1. The art work following this film took on a life of its own and I now want my bedroom walls plastered in fan art.

2. Maika Monroe has been working her way up to high-demand actress with her boss performance in The Guest and her authentic vulnerability in It Follows. While all of these young actors shined, Monroe is our real hero. This final girl is also a fan of horror movies that genuinely loves being a part of artwork that's inclined to scare the shit out of you. There's more to acting than screaming and running and Monroe easily reminds us with her undeniable talent onscreen.

3. An obvious favorite on everyone's list, the unsettling and predatory synth score.

4. Canvasing the Detroit sleepover and the decrepit 8 Mile ruins. David Robert Mitchell's previous work, The Myth of the American Sleepover, follows a group of young adults who spend an awful lot of time lounging in their backyards, pools, bedrooms, and each others' suburban dens. This was also the case in It Follows. Had this film been released in my youth, it would be our chosen late-night sleepover flick pick. THE FEELS! Both coming of age artworks tugged my heart strings. The director has expressed that these dreamy sequences are lifted from his own childhood experiences. Even the walking monster was a childhood nightmare for him.

5.The metaphorical premise. Argue all you want, the ideas of a sex curse is unique. Every horror film clings onto the clutches of symbolic sexism but it has never been presented onscreen in this fashion.  The ending is open for interpretation which most jaded-viewers who do not know any better call laziness. I consider it laziness on the viewers' part. You should find yourself digging deep into the subtext because the film stays with you long after viewing. The fear of the unknown is left to be explored.

6. The ambiguous era. The television shows they're watching are black and white science fiction movies. The soundtrack and overall look offers a 70s vibe yet there are objects of technology that do not exist so we have no idea when this is taking place. This compact that was a basic 60s shell compact that they morphed into an e-reader was a nifty addition.

7. The walk sets the creep tone, making it one of the few recent horror films that's frighteningly intense. This was a complaint among some viewers and I have no idea why. Especially, coming from Jason Voorhees fans. It Follows is a film that avoids the cliches of bathroom mirrors, cats, and camping in the woods. Even the dullest moments are caked in dread. The pace met my standards and kept me entertained from start to finish.

8. The dialogue; “Its funny. I used to daydream about being old enough to go on dates, drive around with friends in their cars. I had this image of myself holding hands with a really cute guy. Listening to the radio, driving along some pretty road, up north maybe, when the trees start to change colors. It was never about going anywhere, really. Just having some sort of freedom I guess. Now that we’re old enough, where the hell do we go?”

9. The circular camera movements and POV shots. The jarring enigmatic angles of corpses. The masterful frames that compare to John Carpenter's classic Halloween. There are several notable shots in the film worth mentioning and I just 'might' tackle them in all its glory on another day.

10. The death scenes. Why the hell are you guys arguing that these death scenes are impossible? It's a fucking movie! The entire premise is impossible. There's no strong presence of gore but it's not needed.

With the capture above, it's worth noting that the opening of the film features a scantly clad woman running in high heels. This was a pet peeve amongst those who attended my Feminist Side of Horror panel at the MENSA convention in Austin. One of my listeners even pointed out a scene in Romancing the Stone where Michael Douglas cuts Kathleen Turner's heels off so she could run faster. Horror films often sexualize even the strongest characters and it becomes a blaring annoyance. Why they decided to feature a woman in heels and underwear running from a monster is anyone's guess.

My Unpolished Guide to Halloween Cocktails

If you browse through my blog history, you will probably find that I already shared some of these recipes and photos in the past but I figured I would bring them all together and make it simple for cocktail enthusiasts and bartenders. Some of these are my original recipes. Others are not my original recipes but my own spin has been added. All I ask is that you abide the following....

  • Make the drinks according to the proper measurements, unless I say otherwise. One thing that pisses me off about 'some' other bartenders is that they do not care about the quality of the drinks. They're just doing this to pay rent. The proper ingredients and measurements ensure a tasty beverage and a happy customer who may return.
  • There IS a difference between shaking and stirring and another pet peeve of mine is a bartender who cannot be bothered to shake their drinks properly. Serving me an under chilled shot is a sure way to lose both my respect and my tip. This might be the reason why I make other bartenders nervous. It's not like I scream at them. I just tip accordingly then quietly talk to other bartenders about how they do not seem to know what they're doing.
  • Watch your free pour. Most bartenders seem to think they can count. They can't. It's okay to use jiggers. 
  • Use fresh ingredients if you can. Not all bars support this because it's time consuming but citrus spoils the drink. Always try to use fresh ingredients if you have the means.
  • Presentation is everything. Especially, if you're a bartender. Pay close attention to the garnishing and glass details.
If you do not have these ingredients in your bar, there's always time to beg your manager to order them from your local liquor store. If you're worried about costs for your Halloween party, you can always buy a couple liters of Taaka Vodka (So much EW) or a bottle of rum with food coloring to mix in. Jello shots are also cost effective.

My recipes can still be found in the Have a Heart for Horror cookbook that I think may still be sold out at the moment, damnit. I will also be sharing some new recipes on an upcoming episode for FNTX Radio (Virus Vodka, anyone?) and I will be bringing another bartender along with me this time. Bet you can't guess who it is? Just kidding, it's Dan Stone. Duh.  FNTX is live at The Capri Club every Wednesday night with a singer/song writer showcase but I'm not sure if we will be airing live at the club or their main head quarters. More details for this spooky episode soon.

The Red Witch:
1 part cherry vodka
2 parts champagne

(Serve in champagne flute after you stir, do not shake!)

Jack-O-Lantern and Black Devil Martini

Jack-O-Lantern (My recipe:)
1oz Hennessey
1 1/2 oz OJ
1/2oz Fresca (Sprite or Ginger ale will do if you're not into Grapefruit)
1/2oz Grand Marnier

(Normally I would garnish with an Orange but we seemed to be out. Shake ingredients into goblet glass)

Black Devil Martini:
2oz Myer's Rum or Cruzan Black Rum
1/2oz Dry Vermouth

(Sugar coat rim. Shake and strain into Martini glass and do not forget to chill that glass because presentation is everything. Garnish with black olives.)

Bucket of Blood - Inspired by a favorite, Carrie

Bucket of Blood:
Equal parts - Rum and Hawaiian Punch

(This is for Halloween parties. Pour into a fish bowl or punch bowl)

The Toxic Avenger:
1 Part Absolut
1/2 Part Cointreau
1/4 Blue Curacao
1 Part Midori or Melon Liquor
1 Part Pineapple

(Shake and pour)

Herzy's Blue Velvet - Inspired by the film. I have this t-shirt

Herzy's Blue Velvet (My recipe)
1oz Blueberry Schnapps
1oz Midori
1 Scoop of Ice Cream
Splash of Blue Curacao

The Frank Booth - Because Heineken is for pussies

The Frank Booth (My original recipe:)
1 1/2oz Grand Marnier
Float Pabst Blue Ribbon to the top. NO ice!

The Jack Torrence - Inspired by The Shining

The Jack Torrence  (Not the creation of 12 Bottle Bar. This is my own recipe under the same name)
1 1/2oz Jack Daniels
1oz Sweet and Sour
Splash of Coke

(Pour over ice and garnish with a cherry)

1 1/2oz Tarantula Tequila
1/4oz Triple Sec
1oz Soda
Two splashes of Lime Juice or simply squeeze in a fresh lime
1tsp Grenadine

Candy Corn

Candy Corn:
1 part Bombay Sapphire
2 parts Moscato
1tsp Grenadine

(Do not shake over ice! Garnish with candy corns)

The Corvinus Gene - Inspired by the Underworld films. Clearer photos are all over my websites. This is just me in deep thought)
The Corvinus Gene:
Simply layer chilled Hypnotiq with Black Cat Vodka on top. You do not have to use a spoon. I do not always use a spoon to layer because I can easily tilt the glass to layer. This is my original recipe that I featured on FNTX Radio last year but the name credit goes to Horror Cats blogger and online friend Dean Charles.

Spooky Screwdriver
Spooky Screwdriver:
Your basic Vodka and Orange Juice over ice, Black Cat Vodka over ice. Follow previous details for proper instructions but it's ridiculously easy. 

1oz Apple Pucker
1oz Jim Beam
1/4oz Cranberry Juice

(This is a strong and tart tini that's best shakin not stirred)

1 1/2oz Vodka
1/2oz Midori
1oz Sweet and Sour

Vampire's Kiss:
1 1/2oz Vodka
1/2oz Chambord
1oz Cranberry Juice

Velvet Vampire:
1oz Vanilla Vodka
1oz Malibu Rum
1/2oz Raspberry Liquor
1/2oz Cranberry Juice
2 splashes of Soda

(Shake over ice and another bartender mentioned that Diet Sprite works well instead of Soda because it takes the dryness off the Cranberry)

Black Widow Shot:
Simply layer Black Cat Vodka and Cranberry juice. You do not have to use a spoon unless you have shaky hands. Just tilt the glass and layer the black Vodka on top)

Bourbon Street Nightmare:
1 1/2oz Knob Creek
1oz Orange Juice

(Pour over ice and garnish with an Orange syrup licorice stick)

The Ghostbuster:
This is an easy layered shot of Peach Schnapps, Midori or Melon Liqueur, and Irish Cream

Alien Urine Sample

Alien Urine Sample (This is one that I have been making for years and years and I now want to punch somebody when they ask for one)
1/2oz 99 Bananas
1/2oz Midori
1/2oz Peach Schnapps
1oz Malibu
Just a splash of Blue Curacao (Optional. Gives it a darker green)
Finish with Soda

(You can pour this over ice or shake and strain into a cocktail glass)

The Blob

The Blob (My original recipe:)
1 1/2oz Kettle One
1/2oz Peach Schnapps
One scoop of Ice Cream
Dribble some Grenadine, have fun with it!

Blood Sucker:
1 1/2oz Bacardi 0
1/2oz Cointreau
1/2oz Pineapple juice
1tsp Grenadine

Witch's Brew:
1 1/2oz Malibu
Equal parts Sprite, Pineapple, Cranberry

(Shake over ice)

1 1/2oz Creme de Cacao
1/4oz Triple Sec
One scoop of ice cream
1tsp Grenadine

Brain Hemorrhage aka Bloody Brain
Brain Hemorrhage:
This is a drink that I featured in Cat5 magazine years ago. If you're not careful, you can easily screw it up but it's surprisingly easy to make. It looks wicked gross but tastes sweet. To be honest, I am sooooo tired of making this. Time to move on.

Fill Peach Schnapps 3/4 full in a shot glass. Layer Bailey's on top. Carefully drip Grenadine through a straw in the center of the shot. Easy peasy. There are several variations of this and I have done them all.

If THIS^ is the outcome of your Brain Hemorrhage then you're not doing it right.

The Exorcist - Another drink I did for Cat5
The Exorcist:
1 1/2oz Tarantula Tequila
1/2oz Midori
Splash of Blue Curacao
3/4oz Lime Juice

(Shake and Pour over ice. Garnish with a lime wheel because it's fitting and looks cooler. Notice that I fucked the second one up)

Demon Jizz
Demon Jizz:
This recipe dies with me and Lackey even though I may have told it to Dan. You can order one and it's tasty as hell but I am not going to give the recipes out to other bartenders or patrons.

Coming soon, The Death of Mariah Carey because this drink is ridiculous. I'm thinking it may pair nicely with that Viniq disaster.

Special Thanks to the Horror Community: A Brief Hiatus

If you think you have been blocked, think again. I opted to take a momentary hiatus from social networking by virtue of irritation and the inability to utilize the burden of my Facebook which is frustrating because I use these sites to promote my hard work AND to promote the work of my colleagues. Shutting these pages down for the time being is not helping me any. Text messages and PM's have also become a nuisance for me. There's nothing I hate more than getting text messages and PMs. If I want to talk to you, I will let you know. Yes, I am selfish that way. Maybe this break will get me on track and help me to focus on more important matters. I want to gear the majority of my focus on my personal life, my book and this script that seems impossible for my brother and I to finish.

Any who, it seems as if my tango with my health issues continues onward but I remain thankful for my children's health and my ability to care for them. Recently, I was rushed to the ER due to carbon monoxide poisoning. Due to my insomnia and exhaustion, I took a high dose of sleeping medication and Nyquil because I just wanted to sleep. My life is fast paced, always on the go, and I never slow down enough to relax. I had no idea I would be inhaling gas for hours and I consider myself lucky to be alive. What's worse is that I haven't had to deal with negativity from local authorities in the area for the entire year that I have been living here until now. These authority figures who abuse their power give my friends in the field a bad name. This 24-hour endeavor was a complete nightmare - Several IVs, heart monitors, high blood pressure of 170, breathing tubes, and disorientation. I was so confused in my state, it was hard for me to answer questions correctly. I couldn't remember names and dates and I am being treated as if I am some drug-addicted serial killer. Unfair and insulting. It's a good thing I decided to hide all my meth supplies and chainsaws in the shed out back. (Serious side note - Everything in my house is child proofed. I strongly believe I was being judged poorly because of all of the horror movie memorabilia that was in my house.)

It's rare that I post photos of my children on social media because of my past issues with stalkers. It's a scary world out there and I want to keep my children as far away from social media as possible. They can Facebook when they're 18. Until then, I continue to monitor everything they do online and I refuse to let my children become the butt of a joke from some deranged sociopath online that obsesses over me. Those of you who know me or have been following my work for years are aware of what I went through online and I wouldn't wish that upon anyone.

Onto more positive and shameless self-promoting, I was asked to be a speaker for the horror panel at the MENSA International Convention in Austin, Texas. This is not just another horror convention I was chosen to speak at and it wasn't a local university. This is a high IQ society and I was honored to be a part of this event. To my surprise, I had a full room of attendees who were interactive and asked questions not even your most devoted horror fan could conjure up. It was impressive to say the least. 


Rosh Hashana was a lot of fun with a great turn out at my parent's building. Where do these people come from? I do not get to join service as much as I'd like to but I try and it really does mean a lot to me, Passover being my favorite.
My recent SOV-VHS article for Dreamaniac received positive attention, thanks to my boys at Geek Juice. My Hackers article is on the way!
Speaking of upcoming articles, my long-awaited piece covering 70's arthouse porn with splashes of horror and fantasy is still in progress. This will be for a magazine I have looked up to for years. I suppose this is where my less than supportive crowd is here to judge me and call me a horrible person or even a horrible mother for including pictures of my children in the same post as my questionable interests. It's not as if I wank to these movies. I write about art and strive to open your minds to the deeper meaning behind controversial subjects.

In closing, I want to thank all of you who have been supporting me for years and don't ever let anyone tell you how to live your life. Write every day. Make horror movies. Encourage each other. Push the envelope. Get heard and stand up for what you believe in. If those around you do not support you, FUCK THEM! Last but not least, everyone needs to see Straight Outta Compton. It's one of the best films I have seen in a long time and I don't even dig rap music..... Not all of it anyway. Freedom of speech. Learn what it means.