All Things 90s

   
****NOTE: I WROTE ALL OF THIS MYSELF AND DIDN'T STEAL ANY OPINIONS FROM OTHER WEBSITES. IF YOU DARE LIE AND SAY I STOLE YOUR OPINIONS I WILL KILL YOUR CAT...OR DOG...OR WHATEVER. I WILL KILL SOMETHING OF YOURS....FAG!***

It's weird that I have so much to talk about that happened in the 90s. The 80s were better. But I was older in the 90s so I remember a lot more. I don't even know where to begin. I guess you could say it was the Dawn of the information age. People often talk a lot of smack on Windows 95 and 98 but that's what we had! My parents had Dial-Up. It took forever to load one picture. It took five hours to download one song from Napster. Computers became more and more popular in the late 80s and early 90s. In the 90s scientists were cloning sheep in the UK.  NASA went to Mars. I got to go to NASA for a school field trip! We got first confirmation of black holes. Tattoos and piercings became more popular. In 1990, the World Health Organization removed homosexuality from its list of diseases. Increasing acceptance of homosexuality occurred in the western world throughout the 1990s and first decade of the 21st century. There's World Trade Center Bombing in 93. Thank you Al Qaeda. America became increasingly dumber than it already was. I am speaking about Y2K of course. Fucking morons. There was the whole Girl Power thing. The feminist movement, which I always thought was kind of gay. Don't get me wrong, I agree we should have equal rights but I get really tired of ugly women screaming about nonsense. This still happens today. OJ got away with murder. Two troubled teens shot several students at their high school, Columbine, and then killed theirselves. America was yet again...becoming dumber and dumber by trying to place the blame on Marilyn Manson. Marilyn Manson actually had a brilliant reply to this for Rolling Stone Magazine. You should read this if you haven't. We had the 500th anniversary of Christopher Columbus' discovery of the Americas in 1992, despite controversy and protests against the victimization of Native Americans by Columbus' expeditions. The holiday was labeled by some as racist, in view of Native American experiences of colonialism, slavery, genocide, and cultural destruction. This actually was bullshit and I still feel bad for the Native Americans. Gay hate crimes increased. Jonbenet Ramsey was murdered and we still don't know who was involved. I remember listening to Nine Inch Nails "Pretty Hate Machine" album on repeat with the lights off everytime I was depressed. I also remember the movie The Craft and how my friends desperately wanted to have their own coven of witches due to that film. So yea, a lot happened in the 1990s.

In my 80s piece I mentioned my two big crushes. I still have a major 'thing' for Johnny Depp in Cry Baby. Oh-My-GAWD! He's so fucking hot. I watched this film with my girlfriends all the time...and we sang along everytime. I even had his poster on my wall until some bitch who will remain nameless drew all over it. *cough* Ashley Sylvester *cough* cunt.

   Cindy Crawford was also pretty hot.

Lorena Bobbitt chopped off her husband's penis and threw it in the woods. This still makes me laugh even though it's no laughing matter. I just wonder what he did to deserve his penis being detached from his body. They sewed it back on and he starred in a porno. Way to go John. Lorena made head lines again when she punched her mother while they were watching tv. It sounds to me that Lorena is a psycho hose beast.

A slut named Amy Fisher (who is an Italian-Jew with anger issues) had an affair with an extremely ugly dude then shot his wife in the face. His wife lived and eventually divorced him. Amy Fisher has had a lot of movies based on her story and I prefer the Drew Barrymoore version. The funny thing is...she still is indeed a slut. She is now involved in the porn business.

Karla Homolka and Paul Bernardo become some of the most bizarre criminals in history. I've written several articles about them and it still baffles me. Paul was the Scarborough Rapist and they finally caught him. However, they caught him after he and his wife murdered and raped young girls. They even chopped up one of the girl's bodies and put her pieces into cement blocks. They also killed Karla's young sister. All of the things they did were on video tape. Police were disgusted after watching these tapes. I can only imagine. Last I heard the tapes have been destroyed. Karla is out of prison and is one of the most hated women in Canada. Paul is serving a life term. Good riddance.

Oh Monica and Bill. To tell you the truth, I was always a fan of Bill Clinton. Don't hit me! I'm not a fan of Hillary. All I have to say is good for you Bill. You're only human and if you want to jizz all over another woman's dress that's your business.

LOL @ this photo. Jake the Snake Roberts! I had to watch YEARS of wrestling against my will. I would argue with my brothers all the time that it was fake and their skits were dramatically hilarious. It is indeed a man's soap opera.

Now I'm getting verklempt! The early 90s SNL cast is in my opinion the second best cast that show has had. First being the actual first cast. This cast included; Mike Myers, David Spade, Chris Farley, Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider (before all of his shitty movies,) Julia Sweeney, Phil Hartman, Dana Carvey, Kevin Nealon, Chris Rock, Tim Meadows, Norm McDonald, and Jay Mohr.

Look! It's Wendy Peppercorn!

Random music video. No Doubt "Sunday Morning." Gorgeous video. This entire album was written mostly by Gwen Stefani after her breakup with Tony the bass player. She was a little upset....




Oh lawd! I use to play the shit out of Legend of Zelda. This was an amazing game. The 90s also gave us the Sony Playstation and Resident Evil. I also remember playing a lot of Super Mario World, Mario Kart, and Mario Paint. You could make music and swat flies.


We did have a lot of cool toys. Barbies became significantly popular. We had slap bracelets and pogs! Remember your pog collection?

I also had a Tamagotchi. Tamagotchi's were digital pets that often died. It's this little 'egg' thing that would sleep and you had to feed it. I had one in 6th grade and it died. Why were Power Rangers popular? These little teenage rangers wore all the colors of the rainbow and could morph into these....like Transformer type things...I honestly still don't get it. Then they would take orders from some crusty old white dude on a screen that reminded me of the Wizard of Oz. OH, and they would call out dinosaur names that represented them...in some way. GAY! I'll be honest, when I was a kid my friends and I would play Power Rangers...I think I was the White Ranger? I still thought it was ultra gay and the funny thing about it my best friend, Andy, would always demand to be the Pink Ranger even though he's a dude. Andy was the first male cheerleader at our school but the bravest person I ever met. When we played he would jump off of church roof's before anybody else. If my memory is correct, the green ranger became a murderer and is currently behind bars.

Random music clip. Color Me Badd! There were a lot of boy bands around at this time. Backstreet Boys, Nsync (Justin Timberlake rules,) 98 Degrees, and Boyz to Men.


An all girl band became extremely popular as well. Spice Girls! Honestly, I always though they dressed like whores but for whatever reason I did own that album. Stop laughing at me. My brothers have the movie and claim the only reason why is because they're so hot. Victoria Beckham is still hot. I also remember this edition of Rolling Stone Magazine. I had it....wish I kept it.

In the 80s we had Tiffany and Debbie Gibson. The 90s gave us Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera. Christina was obviously more talented. Not only is she more talented, she didn't freak out and shave her head, act like white trash, and she doesn't go around dropping babies. She did however have her 'dirty' phase. As much smack as I can talk on Britney Spears, Hit Me Baby One More Time is a good song. I enjoy it when other artists cover the song. Quite catchy.

I wanted to be Rachel so bad but because of my Jew nose, I cannot pull off that hair cut.

In the early 90s....MTV was still cool. I am NOT a fan of reality television BUT the first couple of years of The Real World was good tv in my opinion.

So was Singled Out. Who didn't watch this horrible show? I would watch episodes of it if they aired. Same goes to In Living Color. The 90s gave us all kinds of amazing shows. Roseanne, Married With Children, The Simpsons, Friends, Liquid Television, and lets not forget Nickelodeon. Yes guys and gals, I watched Nickelodeon. I watched; Are You Afraid of the Dark, Pete and Pete, Clarissa Explains it All, Doug, Legends of the Hidden Temple, Rugrats, Ren and Stimpy, Salute Your Shorts, etc....




I have Mike Myers on here three times. Yea baby! I always liked it when he hosted the MTV Movie Awards. I don't watch it anymore because it's filled with horrible rap artists in the middle of every shitty movie being nominated. BUT I did come across this old Parody of Basic Instinct...


Mentioning Myers again, Wayne's World!


At this point in time, Tom Cruise was still with Nicole Kidman and NOT jumping on Oprah's couch.

Too bad those kids couldn't stay together. I also wish Winona and Johnny stayed together. Remember his tattoo that said Winona Forever?

Random 90s music video! Mariah Carey, Always Be My Baby. Yes I had this album. Fantasy is also a great song. One Sweet Day, meh.


In 1997, my father made me see Titanic 13 fucking times in theaters. One of those times the elastic band holding the line together popped off and almost broke my nose. It brought tears to my eyes. Other movies I remember seeing in theaters; Jurassic Park, Independence Day, The Lion King, Forrest Gump, The Sixth Sense, The Lost World: Jurassic Park, Armageddon, Home Alone, Pulp Fiction, Ghost, Twister, Saving Private Ryan, Pretty Woman, The Matrix, Mission: Impossible, Dances with Wolves, The Mummy, and The Bodyguard. For the record, I hate Independence Day. It's an unholy piece of shit and Michael Bay should be stopped!

I also remember watching Schindler's List. Growing up in a Jewish family...you just gotta! I recently bought this movie and tried to make my boyfriend watch it. It still makes me cry. Unbelievable story! I've actually been to Oskar Schindler's grave in Israel and I'm glad I had the opportunity to. He was a good man that saved several Jews from the gas chamber. The girl with the pink coat, the only thing in color, will make you tear up. People say the saddest film of all time is Dear Zachary....Schindler's List just may top that.

One film I was NOT allowed to see but saw anyway was Natural Born Killers. My brother was constantly watching it. This is Wayne Gale reporting live! (If you only heard me doing his accent.) Robert Downey Jr. <3 Around this time David Lynch had been putting out more and more oddball films. I still love Lost Highway, Wild at Heart, and Twin Peaks. Amazing directing and cinematography.

In the 90s, Michael Jackson was becoming whiter and whiter. He married Elvis Presley's daughter as a joke then divorced her. He was accused of touching a little boy and went on camera to explain his ridicule when they gave him a cavity search. I don't care what he did on his own time, I fucking LOVE Michael Jackson's music. That man is one of the best recording artists of all time with some of the best music videos I've ever seen. Tell me I'm wrong!@#%^##$ He's the fucking King of Pop! The song and video for black or white however....meh I never liked that one. And why was he always grabbing his shlong? Oh, speaking of that shitty video, remember when In Living Color did a parody of it? The entire episode was filled with music parodies. I still watch clips of all the videos and laugh. One clip that doesn't get much play is featured down below, Kim Waynes!


They also did parodies for Paula Abdule songs. Even though Paula obviously has a pill problem and mental issues, she had some amazing songs in the 90s! Not to mention she taught Janet Jackson how to dance and have you heard the song Straight Up? It's fucking awesome!



I know the video below was released in 1989...but it played a lot during the early 90s and Paula did teach Janet how to dance so compare and tell me who you like better. I always liked this video and song.


Janet Jackson - Love Will Never Do Without You by jpdc11

Cuba Gooding Jr won a much deserved Oscar Award for his 'Show Me the Money' role in Jerry Maguire. I do NOT think it was over-acting. This is a very talented actor and I always enjoy seeing him on film. Nobody could of played that role any better. I still love that movie. It's when Renee' Zellweger was still attractive and Tom Cruise wasn't jumping on people's couches.

Marisa Tomei also won an Oscar for My Cousin Vinny. I remember hearing people say she didn't deserve it and that it was a mistake. Lets finally put this to bed; she was AMAZING and the best part about that film, her character even saves the day, and lets face it...she didn't have much competition.

I don't want to spend a lot of time talking about the Seattle Movement and Grunge Music. Yes I am a fan and yes every ass hole on the internet has spoken about it. Even though this was short lived it still stays in everyone's hearts. When you hear the 90s you automatically think about Kurt Cobain. Yes, he did commit suicide. No Courtney Love did not murder him. She may be lots of things but come on....this is something I still get into arguments about. Not to mention, I LOVE Hole. One thing that really flattens my soda pop is when some jackass that doesn't know what he's talking about claims Kurt Cobain wrote "Live Through This" even though there's no proof of it. People base this off of the theory that, "It sounds like something Kurt would write." Well I hate to break it to you guys but a lot of grunge lyrics sound the same so get off your hobby horse and fuck off. While we are on the subject, the song Violet by Hole (Courtney Love's band) spoke to me a lot in my youth. Thank you Courtney Love. I love you. That's all I'm going to say about that. Here are some more bands I liked in this genre; Pearl Jam, Soundgraden, Stone Temple Pilots, Alice in Chains, PIxies, L7, Smashing Pumpkins, etc....



Lets not forget about all the awesome stoner comedies. I know all of us feel we were living in the same world as the characters in Empire Records...or was that just myself and my friends? I actually thought I was Liv Tyler....after smoking a lot of pot and working in a store that slightly resembled the film. We also had Dazed and Confused, PCU, Senior Trip, and Friday. Friday being the best....



My current boyfriend and I quote this movie daily. Mainly the annoyed girlfriend with huge fingernails...btw how does she wipe her butt? "You aint got to lie Craig, you aint got to lie! Now tell me who....she was..." "He gonna cry in the car."

Last but not least, I have two more videos! Madonna is the Queen of pop! The first video is from her role in Dick Tracy, which is an awesome 90s movie by the way, and the second is a live performance in the early 90s from her documentary film of her tour; Madonna: Truth or Dare. I highly recommend this film. This live performance is her singing "Like a Virgin" but slowly, sexually, and she even got into a lot of trouble for it after masturbating on stage. They asked her not to go through with it before going on but she got upset and said she wasn't changing her show. She did it anyway. You have to watch this version...





I realize I left a lot of things out. That's where part two will come in on another boring day where I have nothing to do.






















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