Comedy-Horror Films

 *Note: I wrote all of this by MYSELF and didn't steal any other writer's opinions. If you dare say I stole the opinions from your faggy, wannabe great website then I will not wash my vagina for weeks and I'll rub it in your face*

This may be the only thing my friend Jason and I don't have in common. I love comedy-horror films...even though I've seen enough horror films to be confused about whether it's meant to be a serious horror film or the most hilarious piece of crap I've ever seen.

Buff the Vampire Slayer is probably one of my favorites on this list. A spoiled cheerleader that beats the shit out of vampires...how could you not enjoy this film? Not to mention it has performances by David Arquette, Luke Perry, Donald Sutherland, Kristy Swanson, Rutger Hauer, Pee Wee Herman, and Hillary Swank.

I don't know about the rest of you but I really wanted to kick Hillary Swank in the face. She reminds me of my old room mate Ashley....a complete bitch who only thinks about herself. Moving on...

Say what you want, the series and the comic books are also pretty fantastic. I cannot get enough of them. That's right, I collect Buffy comics. What really pisses me off is when people compare Buffy and Twilight. I make fun of people for liking Twilight and they come back with, "Yea well you like Buffy." So? At least Buffy fans are not pussies and their vampires aren't fucking pussies either. People are skinned alive, chopped to bits, and Twilight doesn't show an ounce of blood...not to mention they sparkle. So I think it's pretty clear, Buffy>Twilight. After the 5th season of Buffy they started to get a little more serious and the WB sold the show to another channel...I forgot what channel. Apparently, Buffy had too much violence and sex for troubled teens aka WB fans to handle. It was still a comedy. I have a few seasons of it on DVD. Oh and Seth Green as a were-wolf? Nigga please, that's awesome. Fuck Taylor Lautner.

Hiawatha! Hanson is one of the best characters to ever grace the silver screen. I'm only a fan of the first and second Scary Movie. The rest were shit and boring. Scary Movie 2 however....is fucking hilarious. Proof below.....



Which makes me think of Igor, the caretaker in Young Frankenstein. Another hilarious spoof. It's a classic from the 70s and everyone should see it at least once. Aero Smith actually came up with the title of their song "Walk This Way" after seeing this in theaters. The film stars Gene Wilder, Madeline Kahn (RIP,) Terry Garr, and Peter Boyle. My fondest memory of the film is when Frankenstein sings Putting on the Ritz.

This picture makes me LOL. I loved Peter MacNicol in this Mel Brooks film Dracula: Dead and Loving It. A spoof on Dracula obviously. Renfield is my favorite part of this movie. That scene where he is eating all the insects at the table and the doctor order him an enema. The scene where sexy vampires are trying to seduce him and he asks, "My God! What on earth are you doing to the furniture?"


Zombiefield has one of the best opening title sequence I've ever seen. The zombie stripper was hilarious. Woody Harrelson desperately wants to eat every last twinkie, and Bill Murray regrets Garfield. It cannot get any better than this. Then there are the rules;
  1. Cardio
  2. The Double Tap
  3. Beware of Bathrooms
  4. Wear Seat Belts
  5. No Attachments
  6. The “Skillet”
  7. Travel Light
  8. Get a Kick Ass Partner
  9. With your Bare Hands
  10. Don’t Swing Low
  11. Use Your Foot
  12. Bounty Paper Towels
  13. Shake it Off
  14. Always carry a change of underwear
  15. Bowling Ball
  16. Opportunity Knocks
  17. Don’t be a hero (later crossed out to be a hero)
  18. Limber Up
  19. Break it Up
  20. It’s a marathon, not a sprint, unless it’s a sprint, then sprint
  21. Avoid Strip Clubs
  22. When in doubt Know your way out
  23. Zipplock
  24. Use your thumbs
  25. Shoot First
  26. A little sun screen never hurt anybody
  27. Incoming!
  28. Double-Knot your Shoes
  29. The Buddy System
  30. Pack your stain stick
  31. Check the back seat
  32. Enjoy the little things
  33. Swiss army Knife
This is the first horror movie spoof I remember seeing. I use to rent it from the Video Store all the damn time. I have it on DVD now and it's actually one of the worst films ever made. I get it, it's making fun of horror films but it's still sooooo bad. However, this is one of my favorite posters and it has one of my favorite quotes; "Why does you voice sound so funny?" Killer says, "I'm disguising it." When asked, "How," he replies with, "By talking through a rubber chicken." Oh what a knee slapper. Though the film was a failure upon release in theaters its subsequent airings on television helped to gain it a cult following. It was frequently shown on television due to the fact that the film featured little profanity or violence. It was also filmed right here in Texas! Houston, Texas to be exact.

These adorable, fun-loving balls of fury are Critters. But somehow their body count only consists of 2 humans, a cow, and several chickens. I do not remember all the sequels. I know there are Four Critter Films....but I cannot remember all about them except that Leonardo was there. The first film has a pretty impressive cast list. This makes me want to have a Critters marathon and talk about it on another post. *Note; find copies of all the Critters.*

The cute little Critters are no match for Gizmo in Gremlins. Look at that cute mother fucker. I want one soooo bad. It is important not to get water on the little fucker though, if this happens several other little Mogwai's sprout out of his body and wreak havoc! They're all pretty cute but Gizmo is without a doubt the cutest little bastard. Another rule you have to follow is to make sure they don't eat anything after midnight. If you do, oh lawd! The Mogwai's turn into these horrific, slimy, ass-hole like creatures that will terrorize your town. Here's more evidence of his cuteness below...



I remember renting this on Video several years ago. I was just a little girl. Not fully schooled in Troma Films as of yet. The film is about teenagers that are effected from a nuclear power plant gets into their system. One girl births a mutant baby and it begins eating class mates. It has been sooooo long since I've seen this film it's hard to remember the majority of the film.

Another Troma Film you must feast your eyes upon is The Toxic Avenger. I actually have this poster signed by Lloyd Kauffman. Sweet man. He told me I was the 'cutest thing he had ever seen.' Yes I am bragging, sorry. Any way, the film is about a man named Melvin who gets into some toxic waste and he begins fighting crime and beating the crap out of thugs, with a mop still in his hands......The effects are pretty amazing along with the stunts. You wont be disappointed.

Behold, one of the funniest and goriest horror films of all time. The baby in the park has me almost pissing in my underwear. The Sumatran Rat Monkey, oh my! A priest is kicking ass for the Lord! When the girlfriend screams, "Your mother ate my dog!" It just sounds so hilariously bad when she screams it! And there's the whole dinner scene. This is classic film-making. At the end the lead even uses a lawnmower to kill all the zombies before his mother, the Queen zombie, gets bigger and nastier.

Helldriver is also a hilarious, ass-kicking zombie film. It's completely absurd!

We cannot forget Frankenhooker! For those of you who haven't seen it, it's about a medical school drop out that loses his girlfriend in an unfortunate lawnmower accident and he brings her back to life! The only thing he could save was her head so he then lures prostitutes to hotel rooms to collect body parts for his girlfriend.

Shaun of the Dead is another of the funniest comedy-horror films out there. Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are a genius and do not get enough credit. Some of my favorite quotes are, "I ran it under a cold tap." and "Just look at the face: it's vacant, with a hint of sadness. Like a drunk who's lost a bet." Some of my favorite scenes are when he slips on the blood but keeps walking at the beginning, beating a zombie with pool sticks to Queen on the juke box, and when they're all pretending to be zombies to blend in. Frequent references are made to Big Al's claim that dogs can't look up. This is a reference to the commentary to the second series of Spaced in which Simon Pegg (Shaun) and Edgar Wright talk about Nick Frost (Ed)'s claim that the difficulty in shooting a scene with a dog was due to the fact that dogs can't look up.

What a brilliant musical! It's about a killer plant that eat people but his owner provides the bodies. What I love about this film is Steve Martin. He's such a douche but hilarious! I posted a clip below of the funniest scene. The film also includes Rick Moranis, John Candy, and Bill Murray. More hilarious comedians. Bill Murray REALLY likes going to the dentist. AMIRITE? Bill Murray actually ad-libbed most of his lines.



In Slither, a small town is taken over by aliens. The humungous THING you see in the picture above is actually a human impregnated with a billion alien-like creatures about to explode out of her. The cast is pretty amazing. Nathan Fillion always cracked me up in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Gregg Henry is hysterical. And it has Jenna Fischer from The Office and Walk Hard. In the script, Jack tells Bill that Brenda is the niece of Randy Flagg. Randall Flagg is the bad guy in several Stephen King novels including The Stand. Dangled above the street at the beginning of the film and on stage later at the Deer Cheer celebration you can see "Henenlotter's Saddle Lodge presents Deer Cheer" signage, a clear reference to cult horror writer/director Frank Henenlotter.

It kinda pisses me off when people talk smack on this film. Some say it's the worst film they have ever seen. I always thought it was hilarious and got the references. This film was made to make fun of other horror films and they do it so well. Not to mention it is pretty graphic. At the very beginning you get to see two victim's insides dangling out of their lifeless bodies. This film is a lot of fun! I will always be a fan of the Scream franchise...cause I actually 'get it.' I am also a HUGE fan of the characters Dewey and Gayle. My brother was in love with Rose McGowan and would often pause the garage scene cause you could see how hard her nipples were. Some fun facts about this film; To keep Drew Barrymore looking scared and crying, director Wes Craven kept telling her real life stories about animal cruelty. She is a keen animal lover in real life. Rose McGowan discovered that she could actually fit through a pet flap. Melissa Joan Hart, Brittany Murphy, Alicia Witt, Melanie Lynskey and Melinda Clarke all auditioned for the role of Sidney Prescott. Being a favorite of the writer Kevin Williamson, Molly Ringwald was offered the role of Sydney Prescott, but turned it down, saying she'd rather not be playing a high school student at the age of 27. Casey claims that all of the sequels to A Nightmare on Elm Street "sucked". Wes Craven sold the rights to sequels before the film was released and became a success and disliked many of the sequels. The mask is based on the painting "Scream" by Edvard Munch. Matthew Lillard (Stu) add-libbed the line "Ah... Houston, we have a problem" when he discovered that the gun was gone.





  
These are the horror film rules as stated in the movie:

    1. You will not survive if you have sex
    2. You will not survive if you drink or do drugs
    3. You will not survive if you say "I'll be right back"
    4. Everyone is a suspect.

Two additional rules come from the killer:

    5. You will not survive if you ask "Who's there?"
    6. You will not survive if you go out to investigate a strange noise.



Rose McGowan was pretty bad ass in Planet Terror. What really grinds my groin is when youngsters claim the film is 'stupid' or 'ridiculous.' I actually believe this makes you 'stupid' for not realizing it's a Grindhouse film. It's suppose to be 'ridiculous' you annoying jackass and don't you even tell me that the machine gun in place of her leg isn't cool!

Speaking of having cool toys for body parts, so did Bruce Campbell in Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness. The first Evil Dead is the best in my opinion but all three are entertaining. A woman is even raped by a tree branch. It's ridiculously awesome what Bruce Campbell goes through in all three films.

I've always been a huge fan of William Katt but I always thought the film House was mediocre at best. Don't hit me! I thought the ghosts looked pretty ridiculous and I know now I am eating my words. It's suppose to be ridiculous. I guess that makes me a hypocrite. I do remember House III I think? The one with the talking pizza? That scared the shit out of me.

Idle Hands. Classic comedy. The picture says it all. You'll want to load up your bong before watching this film to get the extra awesome and tubular effect. Although, I could of gone without seeing Vivica Fox. I'm not a fan.

I grew up loving with this film. A year ago I realized Phillip S. Hoffman and Matthew Fox were the bad guys. Go figure. Some say it's a lame brain teenage comedy. Maybe so. Still worth watching.

Tracy Lind is gorgeous. I wonder what she's doing now. This was also Matthew McConaughey's first film! That also goes for Matthew Fox. AND this was filmed in Round Rock, Texas.

Killer Klowns From Outer Space is another film I watched constantly with my brothers but cannot remember everything about the film. I remember it's about alien clowns (duh) that kill people and wrap them up in these cotton candy cocoon like thingies. I remember klownzilla at the end as well and a guy getting blasted while watching an evil little puppet show. Even though the effects were not totally awesome they spent 2 million dollars on the film. Horrorcore rap group, the Insane Clown Posse, often sample quotes from this film in their music, most notably on their "The Wraith: Shangri-La" album. ICP blows. Those guys are a fucking joke with ridiculous make-up and horrible tunes.

My brother's would throw a shit fit everytime I watched this amazing piece of art that is The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Even the music is amazing and they reference so many horror/science fiction/fantasy films. Even Meat Loaf graces the film's presence! They are parody the famous American Gothic painting, which appears later on in the castle. Oakley Court, Dr. Frank N. Furter's "castle", was used in numerous Hammer horror films made at adjacent Bray Studios (where the lab and ballroom scenes were shot), including The House in Nightmare Park, The Reptile, The Brides of Dracula and Man in Black. Built in 1859, it was refurbished in 1981 and made into a hotel, where rooms cost from 150 to 195 British pounds per night. The opening number, "Science Fiction Double Feature", contains references to many classic science fiction films. In the script, the credits were to be shown between clips of the films. Production designer Brian Thomson disliked the idea, and suggested using a pair of disembodied lips to mouth the words, inspired by a Man Ray painting.



The movie is full of symbols of classic movie companies: The shield the griffin holds represents Warner Brothers; the eagle in the hall represents Republic; the lightning bolt on the flag represents the old RKO symbol, (the radio tower at the end is also RKO); the character 'Columbia' represents not only the movie company of the same name, but the symbol herself, complete with short hair; the large 'Atlas' illuminated painting in the grand bed-chamber is the symbol of Amicus pictures; the large snarling cat in the hall is an MGM lion reference; the lighted globe at the end is the symbol of Universal Pictures; and the gong represents the Rank Film Corporation, whose films opened with a huge gong being struck; Columbia wears Mickey Mouse ears in the scenes in the bedroom with her & Magenta: a Disney refernce.

Another film that is a lot like RHPS is Phantom of the Paradise. One of my favorite films of all time. I'll be discussing more about this film on another piece. It's amazing.

It has been a while since I've seen Repossessed with Linda Blair and Leslie Nielsen. Linda Blair was the little girl in The Exorcist (duh) and she's back to make fun of that role. This use to come on Comedy Central a lot.

Nothing But Trouble, a comedy with Chevy Chase, Demi Moore, John Candy, Dan Aykroyd, and Taylor Negron. Yet another film my brother's and I would often watch. It doesn't really get much play anymore. "Y'know, you are worse than a week of yellow shitstorms." Based on Dan Aykroyd's personal experiences. In 1978, he was pulled over for speeding in a rural town in the Northeastern United States. The police officer took him to the local Justice of the Peace in the middle of the night for a trial. If you look closely at Dan Aykroyd's make up when he is eating the hot dog and Chevy Chase makes a funny face, the tip of his nose is in the shape of a penis. And we cannot forget the amazing roller coaster that chops people to bits.





Microwave Massacre is actually one of the worst films ever made but it will still make you laugh! It even has a cameo from Pee Wee Herman!

Lastly, we have the Return of the Living Dead franchise. Tobe Hooper was actually suppose to direct the first film and it was suppose to be in 3D. The two heroes of the movie are names Burt and Ernie, obviously an ironic reference to the popular Sesame Street characters, right? Wrong. Turns out Dan O'Bannon didn't know he was using the names of the two beloved children's show's puppets (from liner notes in the Collector's Edition DVD). The executive producers attempted to contact George A. Romero several times in order to offer him the choice of producing the movie, but he never answered. Some of the zombie extras were paid more to eat real calf brains in the film. Dan O'Bannon didn't want the actors to do anything he wasn't willing to do and ate some raw calf brains first in front of them. That's fucking gross.

























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