*NOTE: I wrote all this by myself and didn't steal any opinions from your douche nugget website you fascist prick. If you accuse me of this, I will stab your eye out with my penis.*
Men who constantly complain and demand that women are crazy. The fact of the matter is, we will never understand the opposite sex. Men will continue to think women are crazy. It doesn't matter how much pain we are in. It doesn't matter how many days in a row our vagina bleeds. It doesn't matter that we give birth. And it definitely doesn't matter that we cannot control our hormones. They will continue to think we are crazy and we will continue to think they're stupid for not being able to understand. Once again, God has us cornered again. I plan on writing about this further but this is a fears and pet peeve edition so I will save that for another time. BUT I can tell you one thing that really does bug me about mother's out there; breastfeeding in public. Are you fucking serious? The last roller derby bout I went to had this group of women out there talking about the laws of breast feeding in public and how if they want to whip their titty out in public to feed their baby they should be able to. I DON'T THINK SO! Nobody wants to see that shit! If you have to breast feed your baby fine, I breastfed mine for 7 months. But I used a fucking blanket. Nobody wants to see your saggy D's squirting milk. Cover that shit up with a blanket for fucks sake.
Some peeves that a lot of you voted on are; People who fart constantly. I totally agree with this. Have some respect for the noses around you. Not everyone has a stuffy nose and even when I do, you still smell horrible and it's not attractive. Local groupie girls (girls who wear high heels to an outside concert.) I know a lot of these girls sadly. We aren't friends. They don't like me and it's probably because they're ugly, misshapen, suck at life, and are completely pathetic. I am sooooooo nice to people when I go out yet these girls are always in my business and trying to fight with me. They're pathetic and all we can do is laugh at their ignorance. A midget with big tithes named Authumn is one that really stands out….or whatever the fuck her name is. So sad.
Moving on to gold and platinum caps. Even older black women have these. I could never understand this myself. Is it for our entertainment or do you really think you're making a wonderful fashion statement? So tacky. Then we have eating habits. Slurping. Smacking. People singing and saying, "hmmmmm" while chewing. Dirty fingernails is another one. People who don't use blinkers. People with bad grammar skills. It's "you're" not UR and there is also a difference between your and you're. Just like there is with there and they're and their. It amazes me that all of you failed that class and still manage to fail.
One of my biggest pet peeves of all time that everyone agrees with are customers that treat their servers like slaves. Have some fucking respect for the people handling your food. You're lucky I didn't spit in it you ignorant piece of shit. It's not my fail that your steak didn't come out the way you wanted. I didn't cook the fucking thing. I am also waiting on several other tables, one of which has 20 people sitting at it. There are some people out there that don't tip. I have noticed that ghetto people don't tip…at all. This is actually a fact around the whole country. It's like they don't tip because they don't believe in it or because they're racist. This is why I didn't wait tables for a long time and why I stuck with bartending. Tip your server!
Now we move onto fears. My fears are; Police Officers. The man in blue has me feeling uneasy and his ego is WAY to big for his tiny little gun. I am a fucking human being. Talk to me like so. You are no better than me. I have respect for cops who are nice to me and actually care about helping people. I also have a fear of crumbs. I cannot sit or sleep on them. I will freak out and they must be wiped off! I am being totally serious. Unfortunately, there i not a word for fear of crumbs yet so we need to work on this and find my condition a word. I have always had a fear of heights but lately I have been trying to push myself through this fear. I went on a gigantic (and fast) water slide. Maybe one day, I will overcome this fear. We can't forget about dolls and little people. Little people especially scare the crap out of me. Small hands. Ugh. Lastly, Many people out there (including myself) are petrified that the government is out to ruin their lives. This is in fact true.
Why are people scared of clowns? The word for it is Coulrophobia. Well, anyone who has seen Stephen King's "It" or heard about John Wayne Gacy is understandably a bit on edge when a clown is present. I also think they're stupid and annoying. For my daughter's first birthday, I specifically demanded that there not be any clowns! I told them several times! I also didn't want her birthday in a Vidor Church but my ex husband made all my decisions for me and his family hated me so they put a clown in there anyway. She just looked at the clown like it was retarded….I was not scared but annoyed. I am the mother and you go against my request? FUCK YOU! Oh and several celebrities, including Johnny Depp, are scared of clowns.
Another popular fear is intimacy and commitment. I too have a fear of intimacy. I like to have my own personal space so I don't know if it is an actual fear of mine or if I am just annoyed. GIVE ME MY SPACE! No I don't want to cuddle all night and NO I don't want you in my face all evening. Your breath smells like hamburger. Go away. Many people wont admit to a fear of commitment and they cannot settle on one person so they wonder off fucking random people. I get it, you wouldn't be doing it if you were happy. Well still, by doing this, you are making others unhappy.
Fear of spiders is one of the most common fears out there. Almost everyone I know is scared of spiders. They look scary and unless you are a spider expert, you have no idea if they will bite you or not. I've been bitten twice by a deadly spider. The pain was excruciating trying to get all that poison out. I even had to dance on that leg.
While some are scared of the dark, I love the dark…..except when I wake from nightmares. My imagination runs away with me and I have to turn on the light. My father, daughter, and I are the only ones in our family who seem to have a serious problem sleeping at night. We just can't. My daughter swears that her Teddy Bears are looking at her until I turn on a night light.
Fear of flying is another big one. This is understandable since so many planes crash and foreigners are constantly trying to kill us even though we did nothing to them. Why don't they try blowing up a governmental building instead of killing regular people who are just trying to get by with their families and see their kids grow up? Fuck you Al Qaeda.