Things That Don't Exist

Mixing reality with fiction seems to be a big part of our society and it has been for years. People think because you cannot explain an event, ghosts are responsible. I blame the parents for the majority of these things. They're responsible for encouraging us with their phony ghost stories, Santa Claus, The Tooth Fairy, Leprechauns, Invisible Mosquitos, Aliens, Vampires, Demons, Werewolves, The Easter Bunny, Big Foot, Witches, Trolls, Psychics, and Mermaids. Yes, I capitalized all those things….. so….. SO!

Big Foot is one of my favorites because the people who claim to have contact with him are fucking CRAZY! Did any of you see that hilarious news report of an old man that came across Big Foot? It's hilarious. I almost pissed myself. This dude is mental. Video here:



  Ouijaboards providing a gateway to another dimension and allowing spirits to come out and play with you is highly unlikely. It's a piece of cardboard and plastic, millions made in a Milton Bradley factory with no mystical ingredients. Mystical ingredients don't exist but ideomotor effects do and that's exactly what causes the plastic to glide so easily over the board. For me, anyone who actually believe in Ouija boards have serious issues or is extremely gullible. Christians still burn piles of these things and they're the reason this piece of cardboard is feared. The creator, Elijah Bond, describes this board as a harmless parlor game unrelated to the occult. The reason why it has become so feared by idiots of the world is because American Spiritualist, Pearl Curran, popularized its use during WWI. Studies have disproved the fact that there is anything spiritual about this game. So can we please PUHLEASE put this shitty rumor to rest? I wouldn't bring it up around crazy Christians though. One woman still claims that her son murdered people because the board possessed him. It's hard for some people to believe that they could just be crazy. I don't believe in Ouija Boards but I'm glad they exist because it caused my friend (not too close and personal friend) Kevin Tenney to make the film Witchboard with a very sexy Tawny Kitaen.



There is no legit proof that ghosts exist. If there was, it would be allllll over the news and the government would be all on top of that but there isn't. So many people claim to have proof but it's never legit. Why are the photos always so blurry and orbs appear in a lot of photos. This has happened to me because of my camera. It doesn't mean some holy spirit was standing next to me. One of my favorites are the pictures with smoke. People claim it is a spirit of some sort. No, it's not you jackass. This occurs in photos every single day. Example down below.




*"I've seen ghosts walk through walls. For reals."
If they can walk through walls then why don't they fall through the floor? Science has actually disproven this fact. They can put force on the floor by walking but they can walk through walls? Which is it? Are they material or material-less?

*They're always out to hurt or scare you by throwing things or moving objects. 
If they can do this then why don't they drive a car or write a letter? PROBABLY BECAUSE IT DOESN'T HAPPEN.

*Some can see them and some cannot. 
Most will try to reason with you and say it's because others don't believe. Usually when someone believes in something so much, their mind sees exactly what they want to see and it's not actually there. And if this ghost can make itself appear and disappear whenever it wants then why doesn't it come out during the day? Believers will try to reason that they do come out during the day but still, we don't have proof of any ghosts playing outside with a beach ball. When it comes to ghost animals, this is also absurd. How are old ghost animals able to disappear and reappear whenever they want? Just think about it for God's sake. Plus, some of these people say they didn't believe in ghosts until they saw it. So how could they see the ghosts if they didn't even believe in them? I'm also tired of hearing, "I believe because I've had experiences with the my whole life!!!@#$#@!@#" So I listen to everyone's encounters with what they think is a ghost cause what else could it be? From my experience with listening to alllll these different stories, there must be several different kinds of ghosts. Everyone has a different story of what their ghosts do and what they look like. One woman SWEARS her father came to her with a bright light all around him and then he just dispersed. Some say ghosts grab their hands and their hands look demonic-like. Some say there is a difference between ghosts and spirits but I disagree. If you look at the original definition of "ghost" the holy spirits/spirits are the same exact thing. It's a traditional belief and fiction that is said to be the soul or spirit of a dead person. In the bible it says that when a person dies, their spirit is sent to judgement and DOES NOT stay behind. This is why I find Christians who believe in ghosts to be hypocrites because it goes against everything they believe.

*"You cannot see the wind but it is real!" 
Oh my God, shut up! Science proves that the wind is real and you can feel it every single day. They're flows of gases. You cannot see electrolytes either but they can be measured so we know they're real. Unfortunately, you cannot measure a ghost.

*"My House is Haunted!!!!@#$%^"
That sounds like a lot of fun and a money making machine but I don't believe you. Ghosts also don't haunt houses. It's called carbon monoxide poisoning, the construction of the house, and air expansion.



Witchcraft is another subject people are blinded by, especially when it comes to Christianity. Christians seem to be confused about the practice. There is a Wiccan religion just like there is a Spaghetti Monster religion. Not many people take it seriously. Wiccans don't worship the devil. They don't have ritual sacrifices and no actual 'witch' during the Salem Witch Trials were burned at the stake. That's an old wives tale. They were actually hung and one was pressed to death. Some claim to be white witches and some claim to be black witches. My father is a flaming Christian that believes there are white and black witches only because preachers have lied and tried to brainwash him into their psychotic beliefs. I can assure you, there is no such thing. If someone believes they are a white witch, I'm afraid they have mental problems but it sounds like a lot of fun. No spells have actually happened probably because they don't exist. "But what about The Bell Witch???" No. Just because an old woman is creepy and crazy, that doesn't mean she's a witch. That's just another wives tale made into a film/book. 



Hollywood also wants you to believe that some of their films are based on true events. This is how they draw you in and make such a high profit. The Blair Witch Project is the highest grossing independent film of all time. The film grossed over 248 million dollars worldwide. Before the film's release, a fake documentary was made on it's behalf. Millions of people fell for this story then we all got word that it was a hoax. I wonder how many people feel stupid for believing that there was a Blair Witch. The Amityville Horror Hoax is my favorite among these. Some people will still try to argue with me on this fabrication and I always win. I'm not even trying to win, I just show them the facts. The Lutz family fabricated the ghost story over a glass of wine with their attorney. Their story spawned several films and books. It's unfortunate that all those murders happened in that house but the house isn't haunted. An American Haunting did not make as much money as the Blair Witch but it still promises that it's based on a true story when it actually isn't. It's loosely based on the legend of The Bell Witch. Another that is unfortunately not based on true events is The Exorcism of Emily Rose. This film is loosely based on a woman named Anneliese Michel, who was a complete lunatic. When Michel was a young woman she suffered from epilepsy and hallucinations which is common among most individuals who have epilepsy. It runs in my family so don't tell me I don't know what I'm talking about. I even wrote a paper on Epilepsy and its effects in college. Soon she had problems with depression and voices told her she was damned and she was going to rot in hell. Sounds frightening, the same thing happens to my father only Jesus tells him that Hurricane Katrina happened because of all the sinning. I'm not even going to tell you what else these voices tell him but it has nothing to do with possession. It's called paranoid schizophrenia. A number of disorders can easily make you think a person is possessed. I get possessed once a month. Weird things happen to me. I'm in pain, my mood changes, and I bleed for a few days. But there's no way in hell anyone can explain what's happening to me. It must be a demon! Demons are a personality flaw and nothing more. THEY DO NOT EXIST.




I just wanted to break that paragraph up with a picture of Michael Jackson. I wish he was haunting me. He could rock me to sleep with his lovely voice. Moving on, if the Lochness Monster existed, don't you think we would have come across some of their bodies by now? The only form of proof we seem to have are crappy/blurry photos and stories by people who seem to think they saw it. Just like ghosts, no actual proof of their existence. How does one live their life as a Lochness Monster hunter? What a waste of time. "I spent my whole life researching an animal that isn't real." Why doesn't anyone get in a boat and go after this bastard???? What better way to prove us wrong by throwing the corpse on our table. This thing has nowhere to hide, if it exists, it can be found. This wishful monster can be a number of animals like; Eels, seals, birds, elephants, and otters. It's amazing how many people have been caught in a hoax. How does one make it their life mission to try to convince people a monster that doesn't exist, does exist. A man took pictures of footprints and demanded it was the monster. Scientists analyzed these prints and they turned out to be hippopotamus prints. The man used a hippopotamus foot umbrella stand to make the foot prints. You're wasting time and money with these ridiculous actions. Scientists should be devoting their time to more important matters.



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