The Slumber Party Massacre Trilogy: Nonexistent Cocks

This is where feminism and sex appeal intersect. Around this time, horror films were scrutinized as disgusting portrayals that degrade women.  I don't think Roger Corman is a misogynist. I think people are oafish and oblivious to the horror genre. Sure his films require nudity and violence but these films were all written, directed, and performed by women. The ridiculousness of the sex, comedy, and violence in these films get the job done and make the films quite enjoyable. We want to see scantly clad women exposing their breasts while getting drilled. It's a guilty pleasure. These films are also parodies of the horror genre. Horror-Comedies if you will. It's not the first time this has been done but I think this is the best parody for its time. Student Bodies remains in my collection but it's still one of the biggest piles of crap I have ever feasted my eyes upon. People also act like this is the first time the power drill was introduced but they're wrong. Driller Killer anyone? This gave the power drill a whole new meaning though. It actually serves as a non-existent cock. It's obvious the driller killers in these films prefer to drill women but they will stick their drill into a man if they have to! I've heard men argue about these film on several occasions stating that they're half-witted, filled with air-headed conversations, and so on. Thanks for your input men. Just goes to show that you still do not understand women.

Slumber Party Massacre:




My VHS copy of this film is still in immaculate condition with $59.95 on the upper right corner. When the Mom and Pop Video Store down the street was going out of business, they were selling all their tapes for 50 cents and as usual, I didn't hear about it until the last minute. Luckily, SPM was still on the shelves in the horror section. SCORE! I had to watch it again because I completely misunderstood the film in my younger years. I didn't get all the metaphors of virgins fearing sex and the man's "drill" being chopped in half by a woman. I also didn't know that the films were made by women until five years ago. This could never happen in a main stream film. I think it makes the film more fascinating since it's a male film made by women. Rita Mae Brown, a feminist and political activist, wrote the first draft but it was originally titled "Sleepless Nights" and she didn't have any involvement in all of the rewrites. Amy Holden Jones is the director. She later directed The Rich Man's Wife and Maid to Order then wrote the script for all the Beethoven films and Mystic Pizza.










The film opens with basketball and a sexy shower scene, reminiscent of De Palma's
Carrie. Corman requires nudity in his films so the ladies added in the shower scene with more change in their pockets. Not all of the girls were so apt to showing their breasts. This scene actually had me wondering, who washes their ass then passes the bar of soap? This school cannot afford individual bars of soap for each shower? Sharing bars of soap *shudders* 

After Brinke Steven's acting debut and death scene we are given a typical, campy slasher with BAD dialogue and passable acting. The slumber party is complete with beer, marijuana, and tits. Sounds like my kind of party only I bring bottles of Jameson Irish Whiskey instead of beer. I don't feel like there was enough character development but that may have been what they were going for? Maybe we aren't suppose to care about the characters and root for their demise. That's what you get for being a bimbo, disregarding helpful weapons, and not finishing off the killer when he's down. Who can actually eat pizza when the pizza boys eyes have been gouged out and there is a known killer on the loose? 

As usually the actors are too old for these parts, especially Trish with her deep deep voice and facial features, but you cannot expect actual 17 year olds to strip down and convincingly play the part. I almost forgot that a hot, female phone mechanic gets drilled before Brinke Stevens. What exactly were they trying to prove by making the phone mechanic a woman? Back to Brinke Stevens, I would have liked to see her as a stronger character in the film with a bigger part. It did put her on the map and now she's one of the most beloved Scream Queens to date. In the special features on the DVD, she explains that she is happy to be considered a Scream Queen and adores all the devoted fans. Unfortunately, the same couldn't happen to Robin Stille's career and her troubles with alcohol and depression led to her suicide. It's a shame that there wasn't anyone around to help her through her struggles. Her friends were aware of an alcohol problem and her continuous failed attempts to find work as an actress but no one knew that she was anywhere near suicidal. Diane is scrumptious but a complete snob and ultimately gets drilled. Why? Because she leaves for more beer and sex. I just don't find the younger sister Courtney to be all that attractive but maybe this is what they were going for. A tomboyish young woman that stares at Play Girl and does NOT look sexy while sucking a lollypop. The boys seem to dig her short orange shorts and white polo but I think it's a major fashion fail because who tucks their shirt into their shorts? Maybe if she was sporting a tank top instead, it would be more appealing. I'm actually having a hard time finding some of these girls remotely attractive. SORRY SORRY SORRY! Brinke and Robin were extremely attractive and took the cake.





The "escaped mental patient on a killing spree" is so overdone. I have to admit I actually get shocked when people add this into their modern day films. I prefer to call Russ Thorn "Denim Dan" although Russ Thorn is an equally cool name. He didn't interact with any of the actresses behind-the-scenes because he wanted his performance and the girl's performances to be effective. This actually worked. Michael Villella is a method actor.
Did anyone else laugh when he said, "I love you?" I spit out my Fresca because I didn't remember that line and the way he said it was priceless. That was the creepiest "I love you" I ever heard. The teenage boys trying to be heroic was cute. Drilled! Trish's next door neighbor doesn't mind the girls smoking pot so he's a pretty cool dude but he wears loud shirts and hunts snails at night with meat cleavers. Drilled!







"I think your tits are getting bigger"


Slumber Party Massacre II:




Isn't it strange how long it took me to see this movie? I don't know what took me so long. I guess lack of interest. Growing up, I was a fan of the slasher flicks but I also spent a lot of time catching up on Giallo. There aren't enough hours in the day to watch them all. I have to admit, I was a little surprised when the driller killer broke out into song and started break dancing. I was expecting a big ole corn ball fest judging from the cover but I wasn't expecting that. It was hard to hold back a few chuckles. One might say it's low rent but I still enjoyed it nonetheless. This has to be one of the most ridiculous killers to date.
Easily one of the worst villains in the slasher genre. So next time you want to bitch about how silly Freddy Krueger is, think about this candy ass. 

No one dies in this film until an hour in. We are given multiple flashbacks from the first one and weird ass dreams from our heroines demented mind. The little sister is all grown up and Valerie is in the mental institution after those horrible events that took place in the first film. Now it's little sisters turn to have a slumber party and the driller killer in her dreams comes to life, killing off her band mates one by one. In the first film we get Denim Dan. In this film we get a singing and dancing, leather wearing Alvin Stardust. Rob Halford called, he wants his pants back. His drill attached to the red guitar was a plus. You agree. Don't deny it. You want one of those for the wall in your living room. I personally wouldn't mind having that prop in my house.





This film is exploding with pastel colors!
Hats off to the wardrobe department, Nadine Reimers and production designer John Eng for all the pastel colors. It gave the film a softer feel and it was quite calming between all those horrific nightmares. Each of the girls had their own look and they OWNED it. Still not sure how I feel about the scrunchies though. I realize it's the 80s and scrunches are big but this look has never been very appealing to me. Other than all the musical acts, nothing much has changed. We got naked girls, alcohol, and marijuana again only this time they fucked up the rotation. Who taught these actors how to smoke weed? As usual, we don't care about the girls although I found myself feeling sorry for Courtney. She was coo coo for Co Coa Puffs and no one believed her. It makes me wonder, do people really get this emotionally damaged after traumatizing experiences? I mean, do they actually see bloody hands in their hamburgers, uncooked chickens pumping blood, and exploding puss buckets on their friends faces? Courtney is also in a band now! The girl band wasn't so bad even though you can tell The Bangles and The GoGos were influential to them. Sally says she cannot wait to be in movies and rock videos. Keep dreaming Sally. The sound track was catchy and their songs were fun but the song "Tokyo Convertible" playing on the radio in the car was dreadful and I couldn't wait for Courtney to stop snapping and singing along. Change the station! The songs performed by the girl band were actually performed by the failed punk band Wednesday Week. 

I have to disagree with all the dancing around topless. Okay, Roxy and I walk around completely naked in front of each other all of the time but honestly, what group of 18 year olds openly dance around each other with their tops off? Not that I am complaining by any means. They're catering to the fans. Just saying, that isn't what girls do. At least, not at any of the slumber parties I attended. I was actually disappointed because the nudity in this edition was pretty unspectacular.









What attracts men to these films? Tits and blood right? You certainly aren't watching them for the quality script writing and superb acting performances. I was happy with the amount of gore in this film. We even get to see exploding puss. Great make-up effects! No that wasn't sarcasm. I really was pleased. I was disappointed that there were no steamy sex scenes like in Sleepaway Camp II. But sex isn't everything! Crystal Bernard wouldn't get her sexy on in the film even though she was a former Playmate of the Year. Disappointed. Juliette Cummins (LOL Cummins) showed the goods and Heidi Kozak jumped right in. Both of these ladies were in Friday the 13th sequels. Kimberly McArthur was also former Playmate of the Year and showed the goods often. Even her vajayjay. She is a very prominent women. So why didn't she show them here? What gives? They dressed her character up like Diane Keaton. Then we have Courtney's mother who is Jennifer Rhodes from Heathers. I kept waiting for her to ask, "Want some pate?"The director, Deborah Brock, didn't really do that bad of a job. Disagree with me all you want and I LOVED Rock-N-Roll High School Forever with Corey Feldman. I use to rent it on VHS and watch it on Comedy Central all the time in the 90s. It did seem like she borrow a little from SPM2 and placed it into Corey Feldman's dream segment with the candy ass rocker and steam.








My favorite quote has to be, "I am you, and you are me, until we go all the way." LOL, what??????



Slumber Party Massacre III:



The third and final installment of the Slumber Party Massacre films was a total creepfest. It had me asking, "is this women's perception of men?" The male characters were some of the creepiest and weirdest characters I have ever seen in a horror film. The director wasn't a fan of horror films and didn't exactly have a lot of knowledge on the genre. She researched a little before making the film and I guess this is what she saw out of the genre. 


In the opening sequence we see a man in black with a blond pony tail with the widest and craziest looking stalker eyes I have ever seen. The girls are playing volley ball and he's enjoying the view. Maybe he's just your typical dark and mysterious poet.... Or maybe he's the killer! Mr. Ponytail eventually brings back one of the girl's journals (in the creepiest fashion) and sneaks in a window in the basement. For real, who the hell sneaks into a basement at a slumber party? Mr. Ponytail has absolutely NO purpose for this film other than being a red herring. Then there's Morgan with long brown hair and glasses. He's a total pervert spying from a telescope when he's not standing over Keely Christian imagining her naked. It's too obvious that he would be the killer but so is Mr. Pony Tail. Dunken is another odd young man with the gayest bob cut I have ever seen. Where did this guy come from and is he suppose to be mentally challenged? I'm just curious because his body is misshapen and his motions are questionable. No more peculiar and guilty than the other guys I guess. The popular boys (one of them is obviously Jewish) are always there to save the girls but fail miserably. The cops in this film aren't having any pranks. They wont have it. You can forget about them saving you. 

Finally, we have the killer who is none of the above. I wasn't expecting "him" to be the killer. I found his motive to be pretty ridiculous. Whatever you do, DON'T TOUCH HIS DICK! His Uncle use to touch him there and he doesn't like it! That's basically why he kills young innocent girls. Because he's pissed about his Uncle being a pedder-ass and he wants to get even. This psycho has a shrine of his Uncle with candles burning in a shanty. There are no strong male characters without any issues. Even the main character's beau is weak and has a uni-brow. I couldn't care less about any of the girls and why is the pizza delivery guy a girl on foot? She doesn't ride a bike or drive a car to deliver the pizza. This poor girl has to walk all over town to give people their pizzas.







This is my least favorite of the trilogy. The second wasn't that great but at least it was 80s-tastic with hilariously bad song and dance. This is just bad. One thing the director Sally Mattison isn't happy about is the scene where Maria Ford uses sex to survive. Well what woman isn't going to offer herself to keep herself alive? I certainly prefer an actual penis over a power drill. Technically, this was not a rape scene. Maria Ford was the prettiest of all the girls attending the slumber party but this is 1990, that hair style is out and her boobs were a surprise. She had pancake nipples. Her acting reminded me of William Shatner's acting. However, she got a boob job after this feature and had a bigger career than the other girls. Probably because she turned to porn and believe it or not, she's Quentin Tarantino's favorite B-Movie actress. Why are the girls always dancing around naked? Even the director commented that she didn't agree with it. It's unnecessary. Sorry guys, teenage girls don't dance around topless at slumber parties. Once again, this is Roger Corman and it's to be expected. Tits or GTFO! As usual these girls are far too old to be playing teenagers but you cannot just hire 17 year old girls to take their tops off and scream like a champ. The female characters were incredibly stupid. "You cannot just kill someone who is just lying there." Nevermind the fact that this dude just killed your friends and is trying to kill you. Plus, they could have escaped any time. One girl eventually says "fuck you" and jumps through the glass door but ultimately passes out and meets the drill. I thought it was hilarious. I wanted to see her bounce off the glass then take off in the other direction because lets face it, that's reality.


Oh my God, uni-brow! What's with all the uni-brows?




As for the acting and dialogue, what do you really expect from a film called Slumber Party Massacre III? That's why we get tits and blood. The picture and audio quality were impressive and the metal music was a nice touch. I think the script writer, Catherine Cyran, was trying too hard to make the film like the first entry but the beauty of the first film is that we don't know why Denim Dan is killing. All we know is that he REALLY loves young girls. The driller killer in this film is far different and meaner. He's throwing things around, he has a back story, and a motive. We knew who the killer was right away in the previous two but this sequel plays the "whodunit" game. At times it didn't seem like the drill was anywhere near breaking the victim's skin but there was plenty of bloodshed. My favorite death scene would have to be the girl taking a bath and the killer throws the dildo into the tub, electrocuting her. When the girl first came across the dildo, smiled, and pulled it out I couldn't help but wonder, "she's going to clean that before she uses it right? Cause God only knows who that belongs to." You don't use anyone's dildo without cleaning it first but it made for a killer death scene.








Initially, this blog edition was going to be an ode to massacre slashers including Cheerleader Massacre and Sorority House Massacre but I still need to watch a couple of those so I might add those in eventually and change the title... to something catchy. 

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