Been getting complaints from my male followers that I do not update enough on here about VHS, horror movies, and nerd stuff so this is for you guys! Wesley will only be asleep for so long due to teething so I will only be able to make one post. My main Facebook page will still be down for a few days because I just don't feel like messing with it. It's relaxing, not having to worry about it. Unfortunately, the creator of the film festival calls me and is like, "We have work to do." *sigh* So I decided just to use my personal account for now to contact some of you and put my fan page up so you can contact me about your film. Some of you still haven't filled out the submission form! You HAVE to fill out that form in order for your film to enter.
On with the nerdism. It's that time of year again where AMC plays horror movies non stop and plays the shit out of Halloween. A Christmas Story doesn't even get as many plays as Halloween. While I'm enjoying non-Halloween horror films, I realized just how lame some of these films are now. Take Child's Play for instance, that movie is more ridiculous than a tranny claiming to know how it feels to be a woman. When he freaks out on the mom, "You stupid bitch," I laugh. It's nowhere near as lame as Bride of Chucky and Seed of Chucky though. Those films were just embarrassing. This ginger doll scared me when I was a kid.
Tales From the Darkside is still a favorite of mine although I don't know how to feel about The Lover's Vow story. This is a very tragic tale that was actually written by Michael McDowell. I was not aware of that until recently. As tragic as this storyline is, I cannot get past the monster saying, "I love you too." Did that make anyone else laugh? The idea of Gargoyles falling in love is just silly.
I think the film "Molly and the Ghost" should be a drinking game. It's so unbelievably bad, it's worse than every Troma film combined. Well, it may not be as bad as Death Nurse but at least Death Nurse was hilarious. What's up with the VHS cover? Who is this chick? She's not even in the film. This was a common practice in 80s horror films. Molly and the Ghost is about a young skank that's killed by a hitman, ordered out by her jealous and less attractive older sister. The little skank really did deserve to die. You don't just go around trying to seduce your sister's husband and steal her belongings. Molly comes back as a ghost and goes after the hitman before her sister. The music is so terrible. I wanted to beat myself over the head with a frying pan. If you don't plan on illegally downloading this film, you can always find it on DVD thanks to Rare Flix.
"Chris, whatever happened to Geena Davis? She used to be in movies, but she's not in movies anymore. She's attractive enough but when she smiles you see too much gum. Not a good tooth-to-gum ratio... Chris? Ah, I'll tell you in the morning." No really, what the hell happened to Geena Davis?
My brothers and I were watching Jim Carrey clips the other night and I completely forgot how hilarious Ace Ventura: Pet Detective is. The scene in the mental institution alone is a riot. I use to make lists on here all the time like "11 Reasons Why This Movie is Awesome." Looks like I need to make one for Ace Ventura. Poor Sean Young. She was so beautiful but turned out to be a crazy bitch that killed her career. I hope she gets better so she can get back to work. "I have exorcised the demons."
UPCOMING VHS REVIEWS FOR WICKED CHANNEL!
It's always hard for me to decide which VHS articles to write next. Time for a clip! Ridiculous horror movie moment, DEATH BY CORN in Sleepwalkers.
I know I talked about Miracle Beach in a previous post. I just don't remember which one and I don't feel like searching for it. I just wanted to remind you guys that this movie sucks. My brother is dying for a copy because we use to watch it on Cinemax. Well I found the VHS copy and it's so terrible. Holy eyebrows Dean Cameron. He was awesome as Chainsaw in Summer School but this is just terrible. Ami Dolenz is adorable. Why was she in so many terrible movies? Including Witchboard 2. This was also way before Alexis Arquette became a tranny. I love me some Alexis Arquette. It was still nice to give this straight to video, Skinemax flick another visit. I don't believe I will ever give away my copy. I am going to watch it again in 10 years.
Well that does it for now. Cramps are getting the better of me. Here's a picture of a llama....