Movies We Love: Romy and Michele's High School Reunion

Can we all agree that Romy and Michele is one of the greatest movies ever made? Take a fabulous duo like Mira Sorvino as Romy White and Lisa Kudrow as Michelle Weinberger (JEW) and you have the most fabulous train wreck to ever grace the silver screen. Bless Lisa Kudrow's heart, it's rare that she has the opportunity to play a character that isn't a complete idiot, "Hold me close young Tony Danza." I know there are some Romy and Michele haters out there. When I asked which films we should feature on "Movies We Love" I was serious. This is not a democracy.

Herein lies two ditsy gals reaching 30 with nothing to show for their lives except for carelessness, partying, candy corn diets, 6 inch heels on treadmills, and perhaps the greatest fashion choices in the world since Cher. Like all late twenty-somethings, their reunion is coming up and they haven't done a damn thing since high school to show those preppy fucks that they're just as important. *Lightbulb* Just say that you invented Post Its. Better yet, disregard spending any time planning out what sort of 'business' you are in until you are hours away from the reunion. If you have the suits, a hot borrowed car, and a chunky cell phone.... No one will care what you invented. Even before this embarrassing ridiculousness, the two hunt for better jobs and hot boyfriends. How they were unsuccessful in the dating game  is beyond me since the two are raging hotties. They'd give a dog a bone. 

Michele is in charge of finding jobs and the only unemployed one in this relationship. After making a fool of herself on Rodeo Drive, or whatever, she finds herself at a discount store for the poor and is immediately disgusted. Lets face it, with Michele's fashion skills, she is above selling ban lon smocks at Bargain Mart. Meanwhile, Romy works part time as a cashier at a Jaguar lot. By night, she is out looking for potential boyfriends to parade around at the reunion. A decent fellow approaches her and she appears interested at first but turns him down after hearing that he is a suit salesman.

Any who, the two get to the reunion and absurd events that are obviously a dream take place. Michele is hilariously hit by a limo with the nerd who fell in love with her during high school riding in the back. She hops into his limo without a scratch and discovers that  after making millions, this nerd in love bought himself a new face as a 'present to himself.' Romy hooks up with jock Billy who she had the hots for in high school and the two go years without speaking until one is on her death bed and the two are still fighting over who is the Mary and who is the Rhoda.

After this dubious dream of Michele's, we get to the actual reunion that's a lot like high school. For the record, I just want to say that some girls will never change. For some reason, some that were never loved as a child and that have had very little to show for their lives will remain ass holes. I still deal with it and one of my best girlfriends still deals with it. Girls can be so mean and it's a shame because we should all support each other but I will save that rant for another day. In the end, the girls are mortified and humiliated by the A group once again. In the end, they switch back into their frisky and lucrative clothing and tell those bitches off once and for all. Even Heather Mooney finds happiness.

In walks the nerd who still carries a boner for Michele (Alan Cummings- I love him) and the trio bonds by performing a ridiculous modern dance to "Time After Time" by Cyndi Lauper. It's easy for me to tell that Sorvino use to be a dancer. Kudrow, not so much. With a dramatic exit, every one is happy and the A group may never recover. Now Romy and Michele have their own clothing store thanks to nerd Sandy Frink which is where they make their signature, "Have a Romy and Michele Day." 

The flashbacks to high school in the 80s are the most endearing and entertaining parts in the film. The girls were undoubtedly cooler than those preppy douche bags. I get serious douche chills during the prom scene while watching what these 80s yuppies are wearing. Thanks to Lisa Kudrow and her tonguing a vegetable of some sorts for bringing some comedy to this.

It's rare that I meet someone who has nothing but contempt for fun adult comedies like Romy and Michele. Most girlfriends in America actually believe they are Romy and Michele.Though I share some of their dim-witted moments, I find myself empathizing with Jeather Mooney. We share the sarcasm and smoked cigarettes behind the school. The only difference is that I am more fashionable and I wax my eyebrows.

Random left overs; One of the bitches in the A group is Pam from True Blood. Romy and Michele still look their best when working out at the gym. Taking a fat girl's hamburger is a dick move but that's okay because getting Mono is like... The best diet ever.

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