Movies We Love: Grease 2

Before you roll your sanctimonious eyes at my post, remember that I was a young girl who evolved into a world of dance, theater, and musicals. There are many others out there like me who adore this sequel to the previous classic starring John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John. Sometimes, I miss being a child. Not only did my girlfriends and gay best friend watch Grease 2 with me 984728975392378598925 times, we were also proud owners of the soundtrack. My best friend Andy and I spent hours making up our own choreography in our living rooms. 

The original gave us heart warming songs like; Summer Nights, Grease Lightening, and Hopelessly Devoted but Grease 2 gives us; We're Gonna Score Tonight, Lets Do It For Our Country, and Reproduction. Musical lovers often despise this sequel. In fact, other than my friends I cannot think of a single person who might actually like it. So first time director Patricia Birch didn't know what she was doing. Give her a break. Birch was a dance choreographer and choreographed the first film. There are a few acts I could have done without and the dialogue isn't particularly that good but the casting was perfect. Some of the cast members have expressed their harsh opinions in recent interviews stating that the script wasn't even finished half-way into filming and that everything was very disorganized. This makes me question whether the film could have been more successful had they taken their time on the filming process and script. Who knows what they could have accomplished. They could have hired some professional dancers. This is some of the worst dancing in a musical I have ever seen with the exception of Charles McGowan who really stood out in The Chorus Line. 

The plot is almost identical to the previous film only it’s a complete role reversal. In Grease, Olivia Newton-John has to transform into a leather jacket, tight slacks wearing hussy who now smokes cigarettes and pierced her ears all so she could win John Travolta over. This time around, it’s the guy who has to transform into a greaser.  It’s another year at Rydell High with a new set of T-Birds and Pink Ladies. A new hunky English transfer named Michael (Maxwell Caulfield)  falls for the head Pink Lady Stephanie (Michelle Pfeiffer) but she’s into bad boys and motorcycles.  Michael goes shopping for a new wardrobe and a bicycle from the local junk yard. After fixing up his very own bike to impress Stephanie, he learns how to out ride the T-Birds. The T-Birds are intimidated by how cool this mystery man is. The Rydell High School rules state that the Pink Ladies are only allowed to date T-Birds so there’s no way this much cooler bike rider is getting anywhere near Stephanie. I'm sure you can guess everything that follows. 

Nice swets. Why do you change clothes in every scene?

Prepare for an abundance of silly faces. 

Lets break down some of these musical numbers, starting with the opening. It's a shame they couldn't use an animated opening shown in the previous film instead of this crummy and embarrassing number. "Back to School" is poorly choreographed with untalented dancers accompanied by dreadfully written lyrics. Pfeiffer's introduction was quite humiliating for her. 

"Score Tonight" is a particularly puzzling musical number as there are nuns bowling and Adrian Zmed seems to have the ability to slide up and down the lanes like a rock star and suddenly lift into the air, impressing Paulette. The dubbing is terrible and it seems as if they spent very little time in the editing room. How in the world am I to describe some of the bizarre cuts and angles they captured on film? It's amateur hour. Make it stop! 

Bowling nuns!

Can you imagine seeing this in an actual bowling alley?

"Who's That Guy?" Gee, I don't know. Who is that guy? The fact that he is wearing a helmet and goggles makes it a difficult task to figure out who it could possibly be. This ridiculous number features a really old motorcycle gang terrorizing high school kids at the bowling alley for shits and giggles. The leader of this gang, who we call rat face, was the crater face who took Rizzo to the dance in the previous film. What is it with this dude? Is he a pedophile? Why is he always just hanging around the high school? I DON'T KNOW! Then he sings, "He’s gonna take a tumble with one solitary thrust.” That's the most homo-erotic line I have ever heard. The scene follows with a frustrated Stephanie expressing that she's tired of being someone's chick. Her friend Rhonda is all, "Tired of being someone's chick? Are you feeling okay?" Apparently, the Pink Ladies have zero issues with being T-Bird property. 

"Reproduction" seems to be everyone's favorite and the most quoted. Make no mistake about it, this is a ridiculous number. It takes place in a class room while learning about intercourse. The teacher creepily asks, "When is the best time for a woman to conceive?" A T-Bird retorts, "At night?" 

"Lets Do It For Our Country" was a fun number but overall silly and outlandish. First of all, how dumb is Sharon? Letting go of your virginity is a big decision but if your boyfriend has you in a bomb shelter and has convinced you that he is about to fight for America, so she should fuck him..... Then you might as well give that cherry up. Just do it for the Grand Canyon or Disney Land. No seriously, those are the lyrics. Now that I am older and wiser, I wonder how in the world Paramount Pictures looked at this and said, "This is some good shit." 

"Prowlin" happens to be my favorite act in the film's entirety. It's crafted together nicely, catchy, and performed beautifully. 

Lets face it, "Cool Rider" is every girl's favorite. Every girl in America was singing along with Pfeiffer on this number. Pfeiffer deserves a lot of credit for this number. As silly as it may be, it's a catchy tune and the lady has a unique voice. The lyrics aren't half bad. It's hard not to burst into 'Coooooooool rider. Cooooooool rider." 

"Girl For All Seasons" is the best performance out of the bunch even though these girls cannot dance! It's a neat production with the lead of season starring each Pink Lady and two back-up greaser girls. As for Spring, why are these girls in point shoes when they don't know what the hell they are doing? These poor dears could have broken their ankles. Their struggling and shakiness on their tippy toes is too obvious and painful to watch. However, the girl on the right appears to know what she's doing. Another Pink Lady dresses up as a tree, can you say embarrassing? If one of my girlfriends asked me to dress up as a big purple tree, I'd tell her to go fuck herself. Then we has Pfeiffer showcasing Winter in a Christmas tree gown that isn't half bad. 

"(Love Will) Turn Back the Hands of Time" is another catchy tune and a dreamy duet between Caulfield and Pfieffer after Stephanie believe her cool rider to be dead. It's a little ridiculous, corny, and dramatic. Stephanie stops her performance in Girl For All Seasons immediately then carries on with this odd performance. 

There are so many problems with this sloppy production that don’t even make a lick of sense and several noticeable goofs. For instance, all the kids graduated in Grease but Frenchy and Eugene are still attending Rydell High. Michael introduces himself as Sandy’s cousin which is odd because Sandy is Australian and Michael is English. Maxwell Caulfield also throws his English accent out the window from time to time. The Pink Ladies make fun of a pair of twins shouting, "VIRGIN ALERT!" When they too are virgins. I want to know how one becomes a T-Bird and Pink Lady. In the previous film we hear nothing of this batch. Are the jackets passed down? It's awfully silly to me because your Senior year goes by so quickly, what's the point? Why are the T-Birds on motorcycles this year? They magically went from hot rodders to douches on bikes. Lastly, who the hell is playing the piano at the talent show when Michael is nowhere to be seen. This should make it pretty obvious that Michael is the cool rider. 

Grease 2 is hardly a good film and I love it. We all have our guilty pleasures, this is one of mine. Maybe this isn't the best review I have written, that's why I post silly reviews like Grease 2 on my blog. Hope you guys enjoyed this blast from the past and remember to keep up with my VHS articles on Wicked Channel. 

1 comment:

  1. Thanks, it's one of my favorites for basically the same reasons..


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